Working for Change 323
If you leave
I wanted to leave my husband, but I did
not have any money of my own. So my
aunt let me help her sell things in the
market. I also made some money by taking
care of other people’s children. After 2
years I had some money saved. So one day
I took the children and left. Sometimes it is
hard to live on the money I make, but not
as hard as living with all the beatings.
If you decide to leave, you will need to be prepared for
some of the new difficulties you will face:
Safety. The most dangerous time for a woman is after she
leaves. The man has lost control over her and will usually do
anything to get it back. He may even try to follow through
on his threat to kill her. She must make sure she is staying
in a safe place that he does not know about or where she is
protected. She should not tell anyone where she is staying.
He may be able to force them to tell him where she is.
Surviving on your own. You need to find a way to support
yourself and your children. If you can stay with friends or
family, use that time to get more education or learn job skills.
To save money, maybe you can share a place to live with
another woman who also was abused.
Feelings. All the things you need to do to set up a new life
may feel like too much to face. You may feel scared and lonely
because you are not used to being alone in a strange place.
You may miss your partner—no matter what he did to you.
When things seem very difficult, you may not remember how
bad it really was before you left. Give yourself time to feel
sad about the loss of your partner and your former life. Try
to stay strong. See if you can find other women in the same
situation as you. Together you can support each other.
For change to happen, people must stop thinking of violence
against women as something that ‘is just the way things are’
or that is the woman’s fault. Here are some ideas for helping
stop violence in your community.
Talk about it
Talking about the abuse is the first step to changing it. Try
to find other women who have the same problems with
violent and abusive men and share ideas with each other.
Find men who believe that violence is wrong. Make violence
something people talk about. Make it into something that
people think is wrong.
starting a support
➤ Be careful! In
violence can be
Where Women Have No Doctor 2012