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wikiHow to Accept Yourself As Bisexual

Bisexuality is one of the three main classifications of sexual orientation. Millions of people across the world identify as being bisexual, and consider it a natural, fulfilling part of their lives. Unfortunately, not everyone is able to understand that what they identify with is an acceptable part of themselves. Here are some basic ideas to consider should you ever feel conflicted about your bisexuality. These will hopefully encourage you to celebrate the magnificent individual you are.


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    Remember, whether you identify as a bisexual person already or suspect that you may be bisexual, it's not the only thing that defines you. There are many aspects of your personality that contribute the person you are: no single one wholly governs who you are. If you are just beginning to suspect that you may be bisexual, do not become consumed by the changes you perceive, and what your realization will incur. What ultimately matters is you knowing yourself. Before you can be okay with being bisexual, you must acknowledge and respect the effort you're making to understand yourself.
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    Understand that you do not have to change as a result of being bisexual. You do not have to suddenly start wearing rainbows and spouting off about pride (although it is perfectly fine if you want to) and you do not have to change how you dress, how you act, or anything else. The stereotypes are just that: stereotypes. There are all different sorts of people who are bi.
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    Determine your feelings toward bisexuality in general. Is it something you may have been morally opposed to? Were you previously accepting of bisexuality, but never imagined that you would fall into that category? Knowing where you stand will give you the benefit of further understanding why you believe you could be bisexual.
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    Think of people you know that identify as being a bisexual. Evaluate how you perceive they are affected by their bisexuality, and how it reflects on their lifestyle. If someone you are close with is bisexual, this will greatly help you to understand that being a bisexual does not automatically ostracize you. There are many reasons why you might appreciate this person and their bisexuality is only a single factor.
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    Understand that bisexuality is a widely-accepted idea. There are some particular religious sects or groups of people who shun the idea of non-heterosexual orientations. Do not let yourself be consumed by it. Many people are uncomfortable with the idea of bisexuality simply because it is not as publicized as heterosexuality.
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    Do not be afraid of what others will think of you. Regardless of what someone thinks of your bisexuality, their opinion alone is not enough to change that aspect of you. Trying to suppress your sexuality for someone else's peace of mind only impairs your ability to respect that you are open to change.
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    Find your own meaning in it. Your sexuality is a part of you like any other that should be nurtured, explored, and celebrated. It can be justified by something as simple as appreciating the beauty of seeing two women embrace, or as intricate as believing that you are too inspired by human beings to enjoy a relationship with only one sex.
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    Explore the bisexual world from where you are most comfortable. There are many online websites and forums designed specifically for bisexual individuals to meet, communicate, and learn from one another. A dating website is probably not the best place to start unless you've already come to terms with your bisexuality and are seeking a romantic relationship. Online blogging websites such as Livejournal also serve as forums, with entire communities dedicated to and moderated by bisexual individuals.
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    Above all, know that accepting yourself is more important than any negative opinion someone may have against your bisexuality.
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    Don't become convinced that there is something "wrong" with you if you are bisexual. If this is an idea you've had previously, you will have to decide which is more important to you: your peace of mind from knowing what's important to you, or letting yourself be controlled by the misconception that you have to fit into someone else's mold.
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    Don't feel pressured to be open about your sexuality until you are ready to be. Even people who fully accept their bisexuality may choose not to publicize it. If you've just recently realized you're a bisexual, you will need time to understand what it means to you as an individual. Don't think that you're lying to yourself or others if you don't discuss your bisexuality as part of an everyday conversation. Most heterosexual individuals do not feel they must divulge their sexuality as a given. Treating your sexuality as an anomaly will only prevent you from fully accepting it.


  • Avoid talking to people who try to convince you that you're just confused and not bisexual. These people are responsible for their own thoughts, and have no business trying to influence yours.
  • Don't expect to understand your bisexuality overnight. It is a part of you that must be developed and explored over a lifetime. If you become overwhelmed by realizing you're bisexual, remember that it is not the only thing that makes you who you are. There are many other aspects to nurture about yourself.
  • No matter how difficult your path to accepting your bisexuality may be, there is always someone out there who understands and accepts what you're going through. Don't be discouraged if people around you cannot accept your bisexuality. You are not alone.
  • Love being you and stick with people who support you, not bring you down.
  • Don't come out to friends and family until you are ready. If you feel as though you can't keep it a secret, choose a friend or family member that you know won't judge you and ask them for guidance.
  • Talk to a close friend, and they will be there to help.
  • Realize that the only true way to accept yourself is by adhering to your own moral philosophy. The only standards you have to live up to are those you set for yourself, those that you believe in.
  • There are many stereotypes about bisexuality. For example, people may say bisexuals live promiscuously, engaging with every man or woman they see, that bisexuals can't commit to a relationship, or that they're likely to carry STIs. None of these stereotypes are true. In fact, these stereotypes can easily apply to any heterosexual lifestyle. Some people who don't understand your sexuality don't understand that it doesn't define your life and they tend to only see the sexual side of things. Keep in mind that it's your sex life to control and define.


  • You may sometimes encounter gay/lesbian people who are uncomfortable with bisexuality. It's sad when it happens, but over time the LGBTQ community has become more accepting of everyone. It's not a necessity for you to choose one or the other, straight or gay. Be who you are, bisexual true and true.
  • If you're in a monogamous relationship with a gay partner, your lover may be afraid that you'll leave him/her for a straight partner because you'd face less discrimination and harassment. Treat this fear like any type of jealousy - be faithful and discuss it as the issue of fidelity and fear of abandonment it is. Once you've chosen your One and Only, that's a choice in itself and your special one needs to know he/she will stay first in your heart. Your lover may also feel they can't fully please you due to your bisexuality. This is a type of jealousy, it is normal and you need not fret. Just reassure them with your trust and give them no reason to doubt you (just as you would anyway) and you will have no issues. :)
    • Even though bisexuality is more widely accepted than it ever has been (thanks in large part to bisexual speculation in the media) homophobia is still a very real threat to bisexual and homosexual individuals. If anyone tries to bully, threaten, or harm you in any way, physically or emotionally, seek help. There is no just reason why you should have to suffer for expressing yourself or being honest about who you are. Seek help such as the police, law enforcement, teachers, counselors, therapists, parents, family members, etc. ANYONE you feel will have enough authority to put a stop to it!
  • If you are contemplating suicide, self-harm, or just need more help, please contact the Trevor Project. They can help you. 1-866-488-7386

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Categories: LGBT