How to Act Cool In Front of Girls

Three Parts:Using the Right Body LanguageCommanding Social InteractionsPresenting a Confident Appearance

Like most guys, you probably get nervous when girls are around, and may wonder what it would take to get their attention. That initial spark of attraction takes place long before the first introduction is made, and it has everything to do with the way you carry yourself. Impressing girls is about more than just wearing fancy clothes or having the right moves, it’s about giving off the vibe that you’re the kind of person that other people want to be around.

Part 1
Using the Right Body Language

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    Practice good posture. Stand up straight whether you’re walking, standing or sitting. Pull your shoulders back slightly to expand your chest and hold your chin up high. Good posture alone can speak volumes for confidence, and you’ll be putting off the appearance of coolness whether people consciously notice or not.[1]
    • Posture is one of the core elements of body language, and it’s one that stands out the most. Your posture is a reflection of the way you feel about yourself, and can betray a lack of confidence, even if you’re well dressed and smiling.[2]
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    Smile. No matter what you’re doing, smile. Smiling not only shows that you’re comfortable doing what you’re doing, it sends the message to others that you’re comfortable around them and that they should be comfortable with you in turn. Don’t ham it up. A small, pleasant angling of the mouth and a brightening of the eyes is all it takes to announce to people that you’re a nice guy who knows how to have a good time… and maybe even has a little mystery about him.[3]
    • Smiling has also been linked to heightened levels of physical attraction, so you’ll be doing yourself an added favor by displaying a friendly exterior.[4]
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    Move with purpose. This is a physical extension of being comfortable with yourself and has to do with the way you move around and deal with your environment. Keep your movements smooth and deliberate, and avoid any wasted motion. You should strive to always be composed and carry yourself with ease. This tells people that you’re in complete control over yourself and your surroundings.[5][6]
    • If you don’t learn to move economically, your movements will look clumsy and uncoordinated, which can act as a sign of incompetence.
    • Don’t gesture wildly when talking to people, as this can be off-putting during conversation. At the same time, don’t stand there inanimate like you’re too timid to move. Try to strike the right balance.[7]
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    Open yourself up to people. When standing or talking with someone, “open” yourself to them physically by keeping your body facing them directly. Look at who you’re speaking to and maintain eye contact. You’ll be much more approachable and inviting than you would appear if you were unwittingly closing the people around you off by having your body turned away from them, diverting your eyeline when they’re talking, etc.[8]
    • Try not to cross your arms, fidget or tug at your clothing absent-mindedly. In addition to being examples of “closed” body language, it make look like you don’t know what to do with them.[9]

Part 2
Commanding Social Interactions

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    Make yourself the most important person in the room. Without boasting or acting like an egotistical jerk, take possession of the room and everyone in it. Whether you’re talking or listening, you want to give the impression that you’re a person of importance. Do this by employing assertive body language (standing tall, remaining open, moving about easily) that encourages those around you to pay attention to you and being staying engaged but considerate. Behave as though everything you say and do has as weight that impacts others.[10]
    • Give the “fake it ‘til you make it” approach a shot—assume that all eyes are on you and that people look to you to serve as an example of what “cool” is.
    • Take a moment to think about what you’re going to say before you say it. You’ll come across as thoughtful, and you’ll also be less likely to stutter or make mistakes while talking.[11]
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    Show enthusiasm around people. Display interest when talking to people and be enthused about whatever you’re doing. You should make it a goal to become the kind of person that can talk to anyone. That kind of magnetism will pay off once it’s time to really start drawing attention; if the girl you’re trying to impress happens to be watching, this will convey to her that you’re friendly and show a genuine interest in others.[12]
    • Be an active listener. Use verbal cues like “yeah,” “mhmm,” and “I agree” when conversing to demonstrate that you’re paying attention.[13]
    • Encourage equal input in discussion with the person you're talking to and thereby establish rapport. After they say something about themselves, agree or mention something about yourself that you can use to relate to them, then give them the floor again.
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    Stay humble. It won’t matter how cool you look if you constantly put others down or hog all the attention for yourself. Rather than using your time to show off or brag about your accomplishments, maintain a modest attitude toward yourself. Accept compliments graciously, and break yourself of the need to talk about yourself all the time. The fact is, no wants to be around someone who thinks they’re better than everyone else, so be sure to give praise and attention where it’s due, not just take it.[14]
    • Those who are truly cool don't feel the need to prove it to others because they are sure of themselves.
    • Being able to recognize the qualities of others is a sign of self-confidence, as confident people know it and don’t always need the spotlight on them.
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    Act self-assured. Above all, you should respect yourself and let people see who you are without the fear of judgment or ridicule. Self-consciousness is almost impossible to hide, and the reality is that it’s unwarranted in most situations. If you’re not worried about what pretty girls or anyone else will think, you won’t have anything holding you back. You’ll have a better time, and your personality will shine through.[15][16]
    • Focus on enjoying yourself. Don’t let looking good in front of girls turn into a joyless mission. Cool people always manage to have a good time no matter the environment they’re in.
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    Keep your cool. Don't let yourself get flustered if things don't go your way in social interactions. If you want to show people that you're cool, it's important to be in control of your emotions. Keep a level head, and try not to appear indignant when you get uncomfortable. When you find yourself getting agitated, take a few deep breaths until the feeling wears off, and remember to keep smiling. Whatever the situation, stay relaxed and make sure that your personable demeanor doesn't miss a beat.[17]
    • Don't take offhand remarks personally. When someone criticizes you or says something you don't agree with, just remember that they're only voicing a single opinion. Your own peace of mind should remain unfazed.
    • If you simply can't help but become anxious or upset, put on a poker face. Even if you're unable to shake it off, you can at least maintain a cool persona by keeping other people from seeing it on you.[18]

Part 3
Presenting a Confident Appearance

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    Dress well. When picking out an outfit for going out, choose pieces that fit comfortably, accentuate your physique and make you look good. Know how to match clothes and how to dress for the appropriate season. A person who is well-dressed is always eye-catching, no matter where they show up; if you want to come off as cool, you’ve got to look the part first.[19]
    • Wear clothes that are in style to show that you are hip to modern fashions; matching seasonal colors, popular fabrics and patterns and slim fitted garments will all broadcast that you're a man of the times.
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    Take care of your body. Eat right, get regular exercise and go easy on unhealthy indulgences like junk food and alcohol. Make yourself look like someone that knows how to take care of themselves. If you tend to be lazy or act like a slob, this will likely come across in your appearance. Working out and practicing solid dietary habits will make you look better, which will make you feel better, and that will help you project confidence when you’re around girls.[20]
    • Eat a diet that is high in protein, with a moderate amount of refined carbohydrates (bread, pasta, etc.) and a minimum of fat. You should consume at least one meal every day containing fresh fruit and green vegetables.[21]
    • You don’t have to become a gym rat to look and feel your best, just spend a few hours a week getting your body up and moving. Keep exercise fun by performing activities that you enjoy, like swimming, hiking or cycling.[22]
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    Practice solid hygiene. In addition to knowing how to dress well, take special care to make sure that you’re clean, your hair is combed and you’ve put on deodorant. You’ll feel fresh and reinvigorated and are sure to turn heads. Clothes are only one component of looking good—stay on top of good hygiene practices and you’ll look like someone who’s really got it together.[23]
    • Get in the habit of going through a personal hygiene routine daily. Shower, clip your nails, brush your teeth and make sure you’re clean and presentable before going out.[24]
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    Be comfortable with yourself. Relax! This is one of the most important steps for acting cool. No matter what you’re doing, try to be confident and at ease. Treat every action or conversation like it’s something you’ve done a thousand times. This is especially critical when interacting with or around girls you’re attempting to impress. If you’ve taken all the steps necessary to look good but appear uncomfortable in your own skin, you’ll just end up signaling that you’re trying too hard.[25]
    • If you tend to be tense in public places or when meeting new people, take a few moments to prepare yourself mentally before you go out. Plan your activities in advance so that there will be no surprises. Practice things you might say when making an introduction.
    • Be able to laugh at yourself when you goof up. It indicates a positive attitude and a sense of humor, both traits that people are drawn to.[26]


  • Always maintain eye contact. It's a habit of confident people, and can also help in establishing a more intimate connection.
  • Learn to take "no" for an answer. It may come as a blow to your pride, but if a girl just isn't interested in your attention, leave her alone.
  • If you're on a first date, take her to a place where lots of people know you. This will show her that you're popular, and you'll have others around that can talk you up.


  • Know where the line falls between flirting and acting inappropriately.
  • If you want a girl to be impressed with you, you can't seem too impressed with yourself. Confidence, comfort and assertiveness are key; arrogance will get you nowhere.

Sources and Citations

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Categories: Personality Traits and Attributes