How to Avoid Dating if You Are Married

Do you feel interest in other men, women even if you are married? Wanting someone else is already cheating, only on a less serious level. It's a common problem, that can lead to infidelity and even divorce. If you are on this page, then you want to stop cheating on your partner, and this article will hopefully help you.


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    Figure out your reasons. Do you feel attracted by younger, prettier people than your partner? Is the problem financial security, stress, or lack of emotional understanding and support? Whatever the reason is, you need to take your time and try to understand your motives.
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    Understand that it is not okay. It's not okay to be cheating on the person that you have promised fidelity and loyalty. You have certainly had interest in the person, since you got married, and if not, it's time to consider divorce. If you are in an abusive relationship, consider the same. But if not, understand that you might be the problem, and you need to correct yourself. Your partner would certainly be hurt if he/she knew everything going through your mind, and as a married couple, you are to go through the pain too.
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    Talk with your partner. Even knowing this is hard, maybe even seeming impossible and risky, you have to tell your partner how you feel. Tell about the attraction, the possible cheating, the feelings that you have, the reason you figured out. Be understanding, even if your partner gets very emotional. It's a hard time for her/him. Try to explain that the problem is you, and that you are willing to do anything yo save the relationship. Talk together about a solution, maybe counseling, a vacation together, to fall in love again.
    • Note that this might take a few days - from you telling the truth to you two sitting down, and finding a solution. Your partner might ignore you, go out of town or get very emotional. You have to understand this, give the person space, but still let them know that you are trying.
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    Stop cheating. You have to be able to control yourself, dedicate yourself to your marriage and stop whatever kind of cheating that you are involved in. Break contact with potential partners outside the relationship, take a break from your friends, especially those who knew about your problem, and encouraged it, or ignored it.
    • Whenever you feel the need to have physical or emotional contact with anyone outside your relationship, transfer the thought to your partner. Imagine you two fulfilling each others needs, imagine how the relationship could be complete, exciting and satisfying. Hold on to that thought, and try to accomplish it.
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    • Avoid situations that might lead you to cheat. This includes contact with certain co-workers, friends, and going out to certain locations. You also need to stay home to provide a reason for your partner to regain trust in you. Avoid talking too much on the telephone, avoid chatting on the computer too much, avoid being too nervous, because all of this can give a reason to suspicion. It might seem hard but if you want to save your marriage, you will have to sacrifice the aspects of a single life.
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    Make your partner regain trust in you. This can take very long time, and it requires patience, stubbornness, and understanding from your side. You have to remember that you are the one who cheated, who maybe will need to apologize every night before you go to sleep, and feel thankful that you are still together, trying to work it out. The weight is on you because you didn't have the strength to hold on to your compromise and promises. There will be need to repeat many things for your partner, explain your situations, listen to your partners feelings and frustrations. You will have to be a good spouse in every manner, and then maybe the trust can slowly come back to normal.


  • Stop immediately whatever cheating you are involved with.
  • Talk and listen a lot to your partner.
  • Try to spice up your relationship - go on dates, make love every night, write poems, give gifts, go on vacation, stay up all night watching movies and talking. Do what you can to fall in love again. Then you won't feel the need to cheat.
  • Understand your partner if she/he needs time and space. Whatever this might mean.


  • You partner might want to cheat back - you will have to understand this, no matter how hurt you are. Continue talking together, explain that it's not okay, that the person shouldn't do this again, because your intention is to solve the problem, not make it bigger.

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Categories: Married Life