How to Be a Fake Writer

Do you wish to write the great bestseller? Do you dream of sending out autographed copies of your first novella to your friends and family? If so, this article will help you churn out a quick novella and impress your friends and family.


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    Read all the books by a particular author. You will see a pattern emerging. Most writers have a single favorite recurrent theme that they keep working on over and over again. For some writers, this may be a romance a la Romeo and Juliet; for others it might be a horror theme. Study the pattern carefully. Usually, the writer will keep repeating tired old variations of the same style. For example, one writer works with a "tradition against true love" theme. In some stories, he uses two lovers who have to overcome the obstacles placed by a domineering family/society and give the old tradition a finger and get to be together; in others he uses three or four pairs to get the same idea across. Remember the theme remains constant; it's only that the writer chose to use six actors instead of the usual two to get the idea across. You too can pick a theme and hack it to glory.
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    Think of other good themes. There is another theme that brings in loads of money. In this theme, the writer creates characters out of parts of his own personality. For example, his greedy self can be a villain named "Villainuva" and a self-sacrificing "good-guy" in him can be named a hero, say "Richard". And voila, you have a story! Use your imagination and create sequences where the two personalities interact/collide/unite etc. in all possible combinations. Imagination is the key!
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    Put a new spin on things. Try putting a spin on old religious myth and tired old dogma to make new tomes to delight your naive readers. For example, you can put a new spin on Greek mythology by adding modern perspective to get something like "Troy" had done. Use ancient systems like "Kabbalah" to really surprise your readers.
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    Use the urban legends and superstitions to make a good horror read, if all else fails.


  • Add modern urban legends to old traditional myths to create a truly unique tome.
  • Be careful when picking/rehashing old themes. Do not repeat words already used by the writer you are trying to copy. If you must use the theme and the words used by the original author (without getting sued for copyright violations and such) -- misspell or respell words -- for example, "phenix" instead of "phoenix" and "Persoos" instead of "Perseus". You can get away with retelling the same tale a hundred million times with this technique.


  • Don't actually publish a book with these steps. You can write a book and hand it out to your friends, but as soon as you make it cost money, you are at risk for a lawsuit.
  • Be careful while copying out names and/or themes. It's best to copy the theme by one writer and the characters names/personalities ideas of another writer. That way, you cannot get sued for copyright violation. Also see the tips section for other helpful hints.

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Categories: Writing