How to Be a Mature Preteen

Are you a preteen, but others treat you like a toddler? That might be caused by your immaturity. If you want others to stop treating you like a baby, you can attempt to become more mature. Being responsible, listening to others, and choosing your battles are all signs of maturity, even though there are many more.


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    Do what your parents ask you to do. A huge part of maturity is being respectful to them, and they know what's best for you. For instance, when your mom tells you to clean your room, don't argue - just do it. Also, the next time your Dad tells you to do your homework, just do it, because you know he's telling you that because he loves you and wants the best for you. If you disagree with your parents' views or do not think they are fair, calmly think up a reasoned argument (debate) but do not just shout.
    • Do not argue with them. Arguing is a sign of immaturity, and thus should not be done if you'd like to be mature. If you disagree with their point, debate your point calmly but take their point in mind as well.
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    Be a good student. Part of being mature is being dependable. Your teachers are like your parents (they want you to do well), so make an effort to do well in school. Here are a few parts of being a good student:
    • Study for exams. Studying will highly improve your chances of passing a test, and your test grade could affect your overall grade in a certain class. Be sure to review your notes before the test, so that you have everything memorized. Do not rush your studying; take your time.
    • Take good notes. Taking good notes assists you in retaining essential information, and if you do so, it will also improve your chances of passing a test. Organize your notes by subject in your school binder, or use a notebook exclusively for them. Using one of these two methods will make them easier to find.
    • Get ahead in school. Put all your effort into learning while you're at school. Be attentive and diligent in class. It's tempting to try to make jokes in class and talk to your friends, but in all honesty, think about which is going to matter most in 20 years. For instance, think about what is more important: your grades in high school, or the fact that you made funny jokes in 6th/7th grade?
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    Try your best at sports and other extra-curricular activities.They play an important role in the path to maturity, as these teach you to be sociable, how to work well as a team and many other vital life skills. Join in with activities both in school and out.
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    Use your manners. Having good manners is another essential part of maturity. People enjoy being around people who are pleasant to be around. Here are some simple ways to have good manners:
    • Look people in the eye when speaking to them. If you look people in the eye whenever you are talking to them, they will know that you are talking to them. You should also make sure to look them in the eye whenever they are speaking to you - this shows that you are listening to them.
    • Chew with your mouth closed. If you are chewing food, and you happen to open your mouth, others will be able see the bits of food that you chewed.
    • Don't talk with food in your mouth.
    • Don't put your elbows on the table while eating.
    • Be polite. Always thank people for rides, meals, and other tasks. Also, be sure to maintain a polite vocabulary - this will show others that you are respectful and mature. For example, instead of saying "Can I ____?" say "May I please ____?"
    • Think before you speak. When you feel the urge to say something, think about the way your comments could be interpreted before you say it - this shows mature judgement. If you say anything that might be offensive to other people, for instance, they will probably feel hurt/offended and be mad at you for making the remark.
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    Become responsible. Don't be dependent on your parents for your issues. Take care of your responsibilities, as this is a sign of maturity. If you have a problem, think it through calmly (have you or someone you know been in a situation like this before. What did they do). Don't panic and get overly upset as then it is harder to find a solution and you may appear immature.
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    Don't do stuff you know you should not do. If you do things you shouldn't do, you might appear immature for breaking rules.
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    Be hygienic. Good hygiene is a key part of maturity - no one wants to be around someone else with bad hygiene. Here are some parts of being hygienic:
    • Keep yourself as clean as you can and bathe or shower often. Be sure to wash parts of your body that need washing, such as your hair and face. Looking presentable is important, especially in public.
    • Maintain your appearance. If you're going out in public, for instance, be sure to wear appropriate clothes for the outing. For example, do not wear a casual outfit to work if it is not appropriate clothing.
    • Eliminate body odors. Shower often, use soap, and apply deodorant when needed. Body odors might cause others to think you "smell", and that certainly isn't good or mature.
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    Offer help. If you offer a hand on tasks, such as washing a huge pile of dishes, laundry that you know your grandmother can't do, anything, you're bound to raise your chances of adults knowing that you are mature.
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    Be mature in tough situations. Think before you do. Think from other's points of view so that you can find the best solution for everyone/ do the right thing.
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    If you and someone are fighting, do your best to let the other person have their way, unless it's completely outrageous. In that situation you should have a quiet debate, not a shout-fest.
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    Don't tell someone that you are more mature than them. If you hear someone say that, don't think, "Wow, that is the most immature person I've ever seen!".
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    Don't show off that you are mature. That is one of the most immature things someone can do. Mature people are humble. Remember, you have to "be" mature, not "act" mature.
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    Stop whining. Everyone, even adults, whine and don't even know it. Sometimes, it just comes out. When we are disappointed, it is almost natural to whine, but doing so will make you look immature and bratty. You'll look older and more sophisticated if you remain calm and don't throw a fit/tantrum.
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    Try to be a leader. Think of all the mature examples you have in your life. Most of them are leaders, right? When you grasp the leadership quality, people look up to you, which makes you seem more mature.
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    Watch what you wear. Others have mature impressions of well groomed and decently dressed people. Here are a few basics:
    • Avoid wearing short shorts, belly button showing tops, and extra high hairdos. If you're going for a more mature look, wear darker, more subdued colors. This doesn't mean you have to be completely macabre or emo. Instead of wearing neon orange, consider wearing more of an autumnal orange.
    • If you love wearing bright colors, feel free to wear them. Adults wear them all the time! However, be sure to be moderate in this; never look like a rainbow barfed on your wardrobe. Instead, wear one very bright piece and let the other parts of the outfit complement it.
    • When you are going for a shape, mature shapes have geometric cuts, complex design, and pretty but sensible design. Your tees should not have immature slogans on them, or ridiculous busy patterns. If you wear them, they just make you look like a rude little kid that doesn't know what he/she is doing.
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    Watch what you say. Cussing doesn't make you cool; it makes you sound young, foolish, and even immature (which is the total opposite of your goal). Erase swear words from your vocabulary, and replace them with more proper, interesting words.
    • For example, lexicon, which, in short, is a vocabulary, group of words or dictionary. Look for words that will make you sound smarter. If you have the time, actually read the dictionary. This might sound ridiculous but the dictionary isn't hard to read, it will obviously boost your vocabulary, the dictionary actually contains factual information that may help you in other aspects of life, and it is very impressive to be a child who has read the dictionary.
    • Be wary that your words have power. The things you say can bring certain people up but they can also bring them crashing down.
    • Never gossip. Try your hardest to never say anything bad about anyone. Gossip is a thing that poorly educated people do. They do this when they have no lives themselves to speak about and rely on other people's misfortune for their conversational skills. Gossip causes people to hate, and mistrust each other, and you don't want to be that way. You don't want to be known as the school's motormouth, and if you speak cruelly about other people, they are bound to speak cruelly in retaliation. If your friends gossip try to change the subject, if they only talk about other people then maybe you need to hang out with a different crowd.
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    Watch the way you act. Be more responsible in the things you do. Accept the consequences if you did something wrong, and apologize (since that's a mature thing to do). Most people who make mistakes find that they could have avoided them if they listened to some of the most basic rules their parents taught them!
    • Understand that your parents are only going to give you as much responsibility that you can handle. The less responsible you are, the fewer things they are going to let you do. If you want more responsibility, try to do more around the house, or just more for people in general. Volunteer, babysitter, shovel snow, do the dishes, etc. and your parents will be a lot more obliging to you.
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    Be nice. If your sibling starts crying, don't hit him/her. Comfort him/her, or just walk away. Talk to your parents if he or she is seriously bugging you, but always keep calm. Yelling or throwing a tantrum might make you seem immature.
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    Treat your parents well. Often times, you and them will disagree, but they have the upper hand. You will comply, be it the easy way or the hard way.
    • Make the smart choice -- be calm and rational with your parents when you discuss your disagreements. If you do this, and they still are bent on their decision, say "OK" and walk away. Even if it isn't the best thing to do (to you), and you're mad, keep it together. This will show them that you can handle disappointment with grace and maturity. Your parents are the gatekeeper of how much freedom you have. Treat them well and you'll be dually rewarded in time.


  • Remember, if you are mature, you could gain privileges.
  • If your parents still treat you like a toddler, try to deal with this. Your childhood does not last long, so you should cherish it.
  • Always remember that what you do today will affect your future. The habits you form and the way you treat people will carry with you, so be careful to make them good ones.
  • Always ask an adult before you go out with friends, wear makeup, have a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.
  • Talk to your friends about mature things.


  • Sometimes, in tough situations, you need to turn to adults for help. Don't suffer alone.
  • Being mature does not mean smoking, doing drugs, alcohol or other illegal and dangerous things. Engaging in these things could make you appear immature, actually, so they are key to avoid.

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Categories: Youth