How to Be a Perfect Couple

Two Parts:Being the Best PartnerMaking Love Last

A “perfect couple” is a happy couple that learns to enjoy each other’s differences and works together every day to create something special. Great relationships require effort and care to endure and evolve so that both partners continue to feel fulfilled. Even the happiest, healthiest relationships take hard work and commitment, but the reward of enduring love is definitely worth it!

Part 1
Being the Best Partner

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    Earn her trust and keep it. In order for your partner to feel like she can depend on you, you have to be a reliable and trustworthy partner. It is extremely important that you show her you always keep your promises and can be a dependable partner for her. Being trustworthy and dependable are some of the best ways to show her you are invested in the relationship and take it seriously. Some tips to earn her trust:[1]
    • Always follow through on things. When you say you're going to do something, do it.
    • Keep all your promises to her, but also keep your promises to other people to show her you keep your word to all the people in your life.
    • Don’t lie to her or exaggerate the truth. She needs to be able to trust what you say and what you do.
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    Confide in each other about things. Opening up about things you are normally private about is another way to strengthen your relationship. Sharing things you would otherwise keep secret, like your biggest fears, will help show that you trust her as well. It will also help establish open communication between the two of you, which is very important. This might mean discussing things your partner doesn’t want to hear; however, being honest and vulnerable will help build trust and emotional intimacy in your relationship, which will help your love last.[2]
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    Be willing to compromise. Disagreements will happen in even the most loving relationships, and it is important to address these disagreements maturely.[3] Avoid having a “winner” versus “loser” mentality, and instead try to meet somewhere in the middle on issues. Also be aware that people’s needs change over time so you will both compromise on things as your relationship progresses. Some helpful tips:
    • Always listen intently to what your partner is saying before replying.
    • When you’re listening to your partner, don’t just listen so you can reply; listen so you can understand.
    • Avoid being judgmental, and always try to see things from your partner’s perspective.
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    Practice patience and forgiveness. It is important that when you say “I’m sorry” or “I forgive you” that you really mean it. Sincerity, especially in regards to apologies, is very important in a healthy relationship. There will be times when you drive each other crazy; patience will help you to endure tough situations, and forgiveness will help you move on from them. Patience and forgiveness are some of the strongest forms of support.[4]
    • Try to realize that the emotion your partner is feeling is just as real to them as your irritation is to you.
    • Communicate with your partner using “I” statements such as “I’m trying to be patient, but I feel frustrated because…”
    • Discuss frustrating situations with your partner, and try to determine what triggers your impatience. If you can, avoid these situations when you’re together. If you can’t avoid them, prepare yourself to practice patience during this time and try to remain calm.
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    Enjoy some time apart from each other. When you’re in love it’s natural to want to spend all your time together; however, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. Cultivate and pursue separate interests and activities so that you can each have some time to yourself. Try taking a painting class or joining a recreational sport league. Having separate interests will help you grow as an individual and give you experiences to share with your partner when you come back. Plus, missing your partner can help remind you how important they are to you.[5]
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    Encourage your partner. You know your partner is amazing, but as relationships progress this is sometimes clouded by work, responsibilities, and life. The most successful couples take time to cheer for one another and celebrate each other’s accomplishments. Talk about your hopes and dreams often, and help your partner achieve their goals by encouraging them in their pursuits. Some tips to help you encourage your partner:[6]
    • Help them prepare for a job interview by printing off their resume and tucking a “good luck” note in their portfolio.
    • When they accomplish a goal, even something small, acknowledge it with a celebratory dinner, card, or an extra big hug when they get home.
    • Research some classes they can take or seminars they can attend that will help them get closer to their goals.
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    Respect each other. It is important to remember that even if you think your partner or your relationship is perfect, it’s not. No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Respecting your partner means valuing them as irreplaceable and communicating through the toughest of times.
    • Never raise your voice to one another or insult each other with unkind words.
    • Don’t ever try to manipulate your partner or use their secrets against them.
    • Don’t ever betray their trust.
    • Always remember what you value in your partner, and never take them for granted.

Part 2
Making Love Last

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    Work on the relationship continually. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and a healthy relationship requires a lot of work. As your love transitions from new and exciting to established and more intimate, it’s important to make your partner feel special, appreciated, and loved. You need to actively work on your relationship and address problems as they come up instead of ignoring them or hoping they’ll go away. Communication is key![7]
    • Be in the moment with your partner, and actively listen to them when they are talking.
    • Make it your goal to be as open and honest with your partner as possible, and promptly discuss any issues you have with them.
    • Avoid communicating when you feel like your emotions are high. It is best to have discussions when you are calm and emotionally neutral.
    • Tell your partner you appreciate them often; let them know you don’t take them for granted.
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    Be affectionate. It is important to always show your partner how much you care in both your actions and your words. Affection is reassuring and comforting, and it also helps to maintain a physical relationship with one another. However, affection doesn’t have to be just physical touching like hugs or kisses, it can be any kind of gesture that lets your partner know and feel that they are loved. For example:
    • Do something for your partner that you know they will appreciate. This could be folding the laundry because you know they hate doing it, or making them a cake just because it’s their favorite.
    • Give them some physical affection outside of your normal routine. If you always kiss them before you leave for the day, try changing it up by dipping them before you kiss them. Or if you like to cuddle on the couch and watch TV, sit so that you can rub their feet.
    • Do something unexpected. While you’re walking down the street holding hands, try spinning them around once and then keep walking without breaking stride. It’s an unexpected move without being too eccentric, and it won’t go unappreciated.
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    Always make time for each other. Life gets busy and sometimes your responsibilities can be overwhelming. Try to take some time to relax and really enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes as relationships progress, being comfortable with each other and your routine can overshadow quality time. Revive date night and do something special at least once a month; it will be something you can both plan and look forward to, and it will help keep the spark alive. You can also try reading the same book and discussing it with each other or watching a TV show that you can cuddle up and enjoy together every week at the same time.[8]
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    Have fun and laugh together. Lasting love doesn’t always have to be serious all the time. Make sure you have fun together, both in the beginning of your relationship and moving forward. Laughter can be comforting, it can relieve stress, and it can strengthen your intimacy. Teasing each other with the security that love allows is powerful, and it can help make your love last. Continue to try new things together and get out of your comfort zone together. Save up to go on an adventurous trip somewhere neither of you have been, or plan a staycation and explore the nature trails in a nearby town.[9]
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    Discuss your dreams often. Being in a healthy relationship means taking on the world hand in hand with your partner; it means helping each other be better people and working towards your goals. In order to best support one another and fuel each other’s passions, talk to each other regularly about your hopes. These discussions will strengthen your intimacy and bring you closer together, and it will also help your mutual goals become a reality.[10]
    • Talk about your childhood and share if you have any hopes for what your future family will be like.
    • Tell them about your dream job, like how you’ve always wanted to run a restaurant.
    • Share how you’ve always wanted to go to Europe on vacation, and make plans to save up for a trip together.


  • Remember that there is no such thing as a “perfect” relationship. Only you and your partner know what you need and what works best for you!

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Categories: Married Life