How to Be an Amazing Person

Three Parts:Building GenerosityDeveloping KindnessTraining Discipline

An amazing person is beloved by friends, and is even begrudgingly admired by enemies. There are many different ways you might amaze those around you. You could leave them astonished at your kindness, impressed with your discipline, or wowed by generosity. These are all worthy ways to amaze, but with a little bit of effort, even ordinary people can make being amazing second nature.

Part 1
Building Generosity

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    Know the proven benefits of being generous. Doing good and being generous to others has a measurable positive impact on your health.[1] If you're the sort that has difficulty getting motivated to give back, you can use this fact to encourage greater generosity in yourself. Medical studies have shown that generosity promotes:
    • Heart health
    • Diminished pain response
    • Improved immune response
    • Longer life[2]
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    Take stock of things you're grateful for. Grab a piece of paper and a pen, or make a list in your head of the things you already have. Getting caught up in what you don't have can lead you to feeling unfulfilled, but actively being appreciative can restore your perspective to how good you have it. This, in turn, can lead you to being more generous to those who are less fortunate.[3] Gratitude can also help you be more awesome by:
    • Improving your quality of sleep
    • Improving your overall health
    • Lessening aggressive behavior
    • Strengthening your mind[4]
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    Begin with small acts of generosity.[5] It might be difficult for you to jump right into volunteering at a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter, but even a $1 donation to a charity can help someone in need. Think of small ways you can be generous to the people in your life, like:
    • Buying a friend a cup of coffee, or paying for the next person in line.
    • Buying a sandwich for a local homeless person, or bringing one from home.
    • Paying for breakfast for a friend or fellow diner.
    • Donating old clothing to a charity.
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    Support causes you believe in. Causes, like racial equality or environmental consciousness, will often resonate deeply with core beliefs that you hold. This might involve helping at a rally, organizing a recycling program for your building, or raising money for an animal shelter. All of these, however, will help you feel more connected to your community, which will foster even more generosity in you.[6]
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    Invest in a person you believe in.[7] If you are more motivated by people than causes, it might be easier for you to offer help and support to an individual than an organization. Think about small ways you might help a particular person in your life. You might choose someone in your life who has been struggling recently, or you may:
    • Volunteer with a big brother/big sister program
    • Mentor at a community center
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    Volunteer with those less fortunate. When you see the true face of poverty, its difficult to resist the urge to offer something.[8] Use this human impulse to help others to motivate yourself to volunteer at soup kitchens, homeless shelters, and meals-on-wheels programs.

Part 2
Developing Kindness

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    Note the times you are unkind to others.[9] Frank Herbert, renowned writer of the Dune saga and ecological authority, once said that the first step in disarming a trap is knowing it's there.[10][11] Think about the times you've been unkind and identify common factors of those times so you can disarm the trap of your unkindness. You can do this by interrupting yourself before saying something mean, or you can coach yourself through the negative emotions so that you become a more awesome person to the people in your life.[12] You might respond unkindly to:
    • Criticism
    • Embarrassing situations
    • Interruptions
    • Teasing
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    Accept and talk through your negative feelings.[13] All humans have negative thoughts and feelings. Giving yourself a hard time for your failures or negative feelings can fuel negativity in your life, but you can help yourself feel better by accepting these feelings as part of your humanity and talking yourself positively through the feeling.[14] As an example, you might respond to envy you have of a friend by:
    • Recognizing that you are jealous of your friend.
    • Telling yourself, "I'm not going to be a jealous person. I care about my friend."
    • Replacing the thought with something more positive, like, "I'm proud of my friend! She's doing great!"[15]
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    Take care of your body. When you don't feel your physical best, you can become irritable or respond to people in your life in a way you might not normally had you been feeling better. Exercise has the added benefit of releasing endorphins into your body, which naturally make you feel more positive.[16] You might also want to:
    • Stick to a regular sleep schedule[17]
    • Eat a nutritious diet[18]
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    Shape your world view. You always have a choice in how you respond to the events occurring to the world around you, and sometimes it can help to remind yourself that you choose to be good.[19] Remind yourself, especially on difficult days:
    • "I am a good person, and I will do good in the world."
    • "I can do this. It's a little difficult now, but I'm doing a great job."
    • "I do not want to be an angry/jealous/mean/selfish person. I am doing my best to be as awesome as I can be!"
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    Listen. “Those who still think that listening isn’t an art should see if they can do it half as well.”[20] Micheal Ende said these word in his book, Momo, decades ago, but the fact remains that in a hectic, non-stop world, it can be difficult to make time to actively listen to others. Listening to another can help you build empathy, which is a key trait in being kind to others.[21][22]

Part 3
Training Discipline

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    Understand the importance of discipline. Discipline is often the deciding factor in whether or not you are able to accomplish something difficult, like running a marathon, writing a book, or winning a championship. Recent research indicates that discipline and willpower act like a physical muscle.[23] This means that you need to train to strengthen your willpower and discipline.
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    Limit temptation and distractions. Phone calls, text messages, TV shows and email notifications, though, can steal your attention away from the task at hand, and derail your discipline.[24] Don't allow unnecessary distractions to sap the strength of your willpower and crumble your discipline. Instead:
    • When you are actively working toward a specific goal that requires your focus and attention, you might want to turn your phone to airplane mode.
    • Remove temptations, like junk food or TV, from the area you are working.
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    Take breaks to restore your willpower. Just like you might need a break during exercise or physical labor, you may also need a break while performing a task that requires discipline and willpower. This will restore your iron-will reserves. Some activities you might do to restore willpower include:
    • Taking a walk in a park
    • Taking a power nap
    • Reading a book
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    Exercise your discipline, actively. Just as you might physically exercise to maintain your body, you should also exercise your discipline through challenges.[25] Trying to attain daily goals and working toward larger projects will exercise your discipline and willpower, but some other activities you might attempt include:
    • Physical exercise for a set amount of time, several times a week.
    • Meditating for a set period of time, daily.
    • Resisting an indulgence, like ice cream, for a set period of time.
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    Commit to your goals and plan for success. If you are not fully committed to your goals, when things become difficult or your reserves run low, you may find yourself about to give up. Notice these thoughts immediately and remind yourself of your commitment to see the thing through, whatever it might be.[26]
    • You may need to take a break and revisit the project later. To prevent avoidance, you should plan the time you will spend away from the project, and the time you will return to it.
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    Accentuate the positive. There may be a long distance you have to go before you reach your goal. Though you may want to despair that you have only lost one pound out of the twenty you had committed to lose, even small victories should be appreciated.[27] Celebrating small victories can:
    • Boost your morale
    • Improve your self image
    • Improve your performance[28]


  • Try to become awesome in small steps. Just as the pyramids were not built in the day, most people become awesome through dedication and commitment.

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Categories: Personality Traits and Attributes