wikiHow to Be Chivalrous

Chivalry is not only about respecting women. It separates the men from the "boys". Chivalry shows that you possess qualities such as courage, honor, maturity, and loyalty for others -- not just toward the opposite sex. Many say that chivalry is dead, but if you use these tips, you will be far beyond that confused "crowd".


  1. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 1
    Open the car door. When a woman is entering and exiting the car, open the door for her. It shows you have manners and know how to treat a woman like a lady.
  2. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 2
    If there will be a long walk in from the parking lot, offer to drop others off at the curb, park the car, and rejoin them. It is also appropriate, in a safe place, to ask the lady to wait inside while you pull the car up for her.
  3. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 3
    When entering and exiting a building, open and hold the door for others and let them enter first, and especially so with your lady. This is respectful and caring to all and shows you are happy to be seen with your lady. It doesn't mean she can't open the door for herself. It shows pride and respect.
  4. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 4
    Pull out her chair at the table. Make sure she and others are comfortable before taking your own seat. She will see the respect and feel cared for by someone who is interested in and willing to provide for and protect her.
  5. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 5
    Take her out on a date. A woman loves a nice dinner as well as a day spent together, catering to her preferences. Unless she says otherwise, it can be whatever she wants to do. It's not about you.
  6. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 6
    Allow her to order first, but never to pay first. Always plan to pay, unless your date said in advance she wants to treat you to a special occasion.
  7. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 7
    When picking her up for a date, get out of the car and knock on the door. Do not blow the horn. It's just annoying to all and disrespectful to her. What woman wants to come out the door, running to you, on demand?
  8. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 8
    If you are seated at her home, waiting for her to be ready to leave for a date, rise to your feet when she enters the room.
  9. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 9
    When walking on a sidewalk, place yourself on the outside, closest to traffic or puddles. This is a sign of protection.
  10. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 10
    If she is cold, offer your coat or jacket.
  11. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 11
    When dropping her off, walk her to the door. It makes her feel safe. A gentlemanly hug and "Thank you.", for the pleasant day or evening is a good parting gesture. Don't assume it is okay to plant a kiss on the first date or two. Ask, "Is it all right if I kiss you?"
  12. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 12
    Send her flowers or write heartfelt, simple notes: send "thinking of you" in brief text messages, e-mails, or phone calls, rather than just popping up a week later for a date. A woman loves to know that she's on your mind. Whether you say it, write it, or text it, take 3 minutes to let her know you're thinking about her. It will brighten her day and make her feel special.
  13. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 13
    When shopping, hold and carry the bags. Women are all different, but if you ask women what they enjoy doing, for most shopping is somewhere on the list. If you are at the mall with your woman, you should carry the bags. She shouldn't be struggling while you’re walking around, hands free.
  14. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 14
    If she's carrying something heavy, offer to help or say, "Let me get that for you." -- but don't insist, if she objects...
  15. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 15
    Be loyal. Do not cheat or give any appearance of behavior that could be construed as disloyalty to a lady-friend, your date or to others.
  16. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 16
    Call when you say you will. It shows you are really interested and reliable, and respect her time.
  17. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 17
    Don't make promises you can't keep. Only make dates when you know for sure you are free to go out. If a true emergency arises that will prevent you from keeping the date, call as soon as possible. If you are unable to reach her by phone, text, e-mail, Facebook email -- do something to let her know you can't make it. Try to set up a follow-up date. This shows character.
  18. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 18
    If you don't think the two of you hit it off, let her know with courtesy and kindness, nicely. Women can handle it. Give them some credit. Don't play games with her and have her thinking the relationship is something that it's not.
  19. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 19
    Compliment the woman. Let her know she looks nice. Most women are wired to want to feel beautiful, but not being told in an unrealistic way. Tell her in a courteous and sincere way.
  20. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 20
    Don't disrespect the woman. Don't boss or attempt to control the woman. Do not be condescending, talking down, leading the woman to feel that she is not respected. It's never okay to disrespect anyone, but men are particularly to uphold and honor women. Never bad mouth or curse, call her names, deride her or roughly "put your hands on" her in private or in public. These behaviors reveal that you are weak, selfish and immature.
  21. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 21
    Protect your woman at all costs. Be there for her when she needs you. Expect her to get nice compliments. And if anybody tries to hurt her, stand up for her and protect her. Don’t allow anybody, especially another man to disrespect her, call her names, touch her inappropriately, or such. Don't permit your children to speak disrespectfully of or to a lady or their mother (support your wife in disciplining the children and in arguments with your family).
  22. Image titled Be Chivalrous Step 22
    Escorting a woman is a bit of a lost art. When going to a formal occasion, you can try holding out your arm to give her something to hold onto. Historically, chivalry dictated that this was the non-dominant arm, as the other arm was used to fight off other males. However, use whichever arm is more natural in the situation.


  • Chivalry is an attitude, and if done right you will have a better chance in your search for one true love. A woman may be independent and like to do things for themselves, but it shows a lot in a man is well-spoken, has manners, and knows how to treat a lady. If you’re attached, it would surely bring back her spark, and if you're single and looking you won't be, for long.


  • Chivalry is called a lost art, and it is on average. Many women will not notice or care that you are being chivalrous. If they don't, so be it. Chivalry isn't one of the better ways to pick up women. However, it is one of the few ways to meet women that really matter. A lady with kindness, goodness, an inner beauty in her, those are the ones that chivalry usually appeals to.
  • Don't expect women to be dependent on you for everything. That is benevolent sexism. Give them space. Let them be individualistic and creative thinking.
  • Chivalry towards married women can lead to affairs, if not taken with precaution. There are husbands and sons who are not comfortable with other men being chivalrous gentlemen towards their wives and mothers. If they see another man doing that, they will react with rage. Same goes for chivalry towards taken and engaged women. It will lead to them cheating on their boyfriend or fiance and thus ending their relationship.

Article Info

Categories: Dating