How to Be Cold Hearted

Despite your best efforts to be strong, he/she has broken your heart once again. After a tear soaked night of wallowing in self-pity you have decided that enough is enough. You must subtract him/her from your life completely, but he/she won't take no for an answer. Here are some drastic steps to assure him/her that no is the only answer you have for him/her.


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    Remain authoritative and firm. Do not accept any apologies. One of the most important steps to becoming cold-hearted is to remain firm in your decision to do so. There can be no room for ambivalence. In order to become and remain a cold-hearted individual one must live with a slightly cynical disposition.If he does apologize, you cannot believe what he says. You must view each and every attempt at reconciliation as the perpetrator’s desire to put you back into a position to hurt you again. If possible do not accept phone calls, emails, Facebook messages, etc. If you give him a chance to explain himself, your resolve will be weakened. You will give him the opportunity to regain your trust and once he has it you will be betrayed, thus the cycle of abuse will continue.
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    Refuse to reminisce or wallow in sentimentality. Do not reflect on the "good times" you might have shared.If you wish to be cold-hearted one of the worst things you could do is recall good memories. Doing such a thing will tempt you to give whoever has hurt you another chance. You will think of the laughs you shared; the gentle hugs; the tender kisses and you will be tempted to but your hurt pride aside. You’d be wrong to do so. Remember, the person hurting you is counting on you to become sentimental and he will use this to his advantage. If you find yourself able to do so, delete all texts, emails, etc. Rid yourself of anything that reminds you of him (pictures, shirts, gifts, etc). Remind yourself that if things were so good, you wouldn’t be reading this article to begin with.
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    Be taciturn. Give short, meaningless replies such as I don't know,What do you want, or I don't have time. Then walk away.
    • Or, pretend not to notice or hear them.
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    Remind yourself of the reasons you have decided the relationship must end. When you become weak you will find that anger is a very good motivator. When times get tough, and you feel tempted to answer his calls, get angry. Get enraged. Remind yourself about all the times you felt mistreated by him; all the times you needed him and he wasn’t there for you. (It’s important to get angry now so that you have less baggage later so that you do not take this anger out on the next guy.)
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    Show no signs of lingering affection. Do not wear his shirts or any gifts he gave you. Don’t even glance his way. If you can, try not to talk about him. To be cold-hearted, you must appear as if you do not care about him at all. If he asks why you don’t answer his texts tell him that you’re busy. If he compliments you, brush him off. Be callous, curt and distant. Make yourself seem different than the woman he knew. Doing so will make him feel uncertain. The more uncertain you make him feel, the less he will continue to bother you until eventually he leaves you alone altogether .
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    Buy a wall calendar. It’s important to occupy your mind during this transitional period of your life especially if you were a couple that did everything together. Find yourself a hobby. If you’re someone who constantly must be with someone else, give yourself a break. Find out who you are. Work on being a good friend, a good sister, etc. Make yourself as unavailable as possible to this person. Being single is not a bad thing. Sure, it’s lonely at times but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Being single will give you the opportunity to discover yourself and hopefully build self-confidence.
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    Welcome a new beginning. Surely you don't want to be cold all your life, you want new friends, a new love, new everything. As soon as you have moved on, try to loosen up a bit, and forget about the past.


  • If you begin to feel weak, remind yourself that you have exhausted every other option. There can be no other way.
  • This is childish, but if he/she's really bad for you, and you really need to get him/her out of your life because he/she will make your life much worse and not much better: every time he calls or emails, and you control yourself and don't respond, think of it as you winning. "I Win!"
  • Listen to music that supports your purpose. Songs such as Over it by Katherine McPhee and All I Have- by J.Lo and LL cool J
  • Think about all the positive things you've done for yourself and the relationship.
  • Devote a lot of time to your self-development.
  • Laugh it out. It will make your acting easier if you laugh at your emotions.


  • If you plan on being cold-hearted towards someone, it is because you have decided that you no longer want them in your life. Do not use cold-heartedness towards someone that you believe you might have a future with. Your partner will not find your cruelty easy to forgive or forget
  • Be prepared to be criticized. Most individuals do find cold-heartedness to be a less than admirable trait. People will view your behavior as cruel (because it is) and, if they are unaware of your intentions, some may question whether or not they want to remain friends with you.
  • Don't do this sort of thing too often, or it will become second nature, and you'll start doing it impulsively, over trivial things.
  • If you're a child, doing this can be classed as bullying when other people (including your parent's) find out.

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Categories: Personality Traits and Attributes