How to Be Popular in Middle School (for Girls)

Six Parts:Have an Amazing AppearanceHave a Fashionable Sense of StyleBuilding Your Popularity SkillsGet Yourself NoticedHold Social EventsBe Cool

Middle school can be a difficult time in a girl’s life. There is your developing body. Then there’s increased expectations coming from school and your parents. Throw that into the mix of making friends, and it can seem like there’s never enough time to do anything! The truth is, being popular in middle school is not what you think it is. It’s less about being a version of another girl and more about being the best version of yourself. Once you have nailed that, you’ll be the girl that everyone looks up to.


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    Keep these things in mind:
    • Popularity can be all-of-school or within groups of the school, such as by year, by interest, by commonalities, and so forth. What are you after?
    • Popularity depends on how you treat others, how they treat you back, and the circumstances you all have in common.
    • How to become popular depends on the school you go to, the number of kids in your grade, and the type of kids who know you.
    • Popularity does not mean the same thing as friendship. You can be very popular and very lonely if you’re not careful. Always put friendship with a deep, true connection before a ton of shallow acquaintances.
    • Don’t abandon true friends for clingy wannabes and rude people.
    • Don’t try to fit in by being just like the other kids. Be yourself!
    • It's not like it is in the movies - the mean ones aren't popular, the friendly ones are.

Part 1
Have an Amazing Appearance

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    Be healthy. Shower daily with formulated soap and wash your body. Make sure you wear deodorant.
    • Take care of your skin. Use a gentle facial cleanser moisturizer and lotion. Make sure every product you use is either unscented or have well-coordinated scents. For example, if you get dry hands during winter, you should use a medicated lotion. Also, make sure to wash your hands occasionally.
    • Get enough sleep. Studies prove that the average teen needs at least 10 hours of sleep per night in order to be the most alert. Being rested will boost your awareness, mind, spirit, and confidence!
    • Eat right and stay active! Not only will you look better by doing this, you will also feel good, too! Most popular girls are not obese. If you’re trying to lose weight, join in with a friend for suggestions. He/she can support you.
    • Stay home from school if you’re sick, if you really need to.
    • Don’t pick your nose. It’s gross and unhealthy. Instead, blow it before you go to school to keep it clean.
    • Drink plenty of water. You’ll be hydrated and ready to go!
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    Maintain amazing hair. To achieve this, you need a good shampoo and conditioner that works well for you. It does not necessarily have to be expensive. It just has to get the job done (clean your hair). Try using a John Freda shampoo.
    • Your hair stylist, older sibling, or friend(s) will be able to suggest shampoo and conditioner choices that might work for you. It’s a good idea not to fall in love with just a specific brand; try out a variety of them to see what you like best, and even then, don’t be so attached to it that you’re not willing to try other ones. Over time, your hair needs will change, so be prepared to alter as desired.
    • Try getting a trim every 1-2 months. It doesn't have to be at the most expensive place in town, in fact you can even trim it yourself! Try watching a detailed tutorial first though.
    • Try to air dry your hair and wear it naturally. That way there is no heat damage to your hair.
    • Rinse your hair with warm water to clean it and cold water to allow it a natural shine.
    • For a special occasion, you can use a flat iron, a curling iron, or a 3-barrel waver! Be careful not to burn yourself! Also use a heat protecting spray, and never use heat more than 2 or 3 times a week.
    • You have endless options. You can go natural and curly. You can wear headbands, braids, or go to a salon to get your hair pressed or curled. Some girls like to have their hair slightly colored, highlighted, or shadowed in certain areas. Never overdo your hairstyle. YouTube has a lot of hair style tutorials that you can watch!
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    Remove unwanted body hair. This is a personal choice. You’re young, and you should never feel like you have to get rid of it to fit in. If you don’t feel comfortable with this, skip this step. However, you may gain a boost of confidence in yourself knowing that your skin is hairless. It’s your decision. Remember: Once you start shaving in an area of your body, the hairs will quickly return back stubby and darker. Others may notice, and some may make fun of you. So, really, don’t shave unless you really need to.
    • Shave your legs. If you have never done this before, get your mom or an older sibling to help you. You need a razor, shaving cream, and patience. Shave slowly and take your time. You can also use wax strips or hair removal cream.
    • Shave your underarms. Shave your underarms like you shave your legs. Make sure your razor isn’t blunt or dull, and that you have a ton of shaving cream.
    • Pluck or wax your eyebrows. It’s recommended that you go to a spa and ask for an eyebrow wax, then pluck your eyebrows once hair starts to grow back. (Never try waxing your own eyebrows.) If you pluck your eyebrows, get your mom or older sibling to help. Threading your eyebrows, though, is the most sanitary, painless, cheap method. Or you could buy brow products.
    • Pluck or wax the upper lip if needed. Again, it’s recommended you go to the spa for a wax. Or, get some tweezers and pluck the unwanted hair.
    • Thread or wax the sides of your face and cheeks. There is nothing popular about a hairy face!
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    Wear makeup, if you’d like. Since you’re only in middle school, you don’t need a lot of makeup. Foundation, concealer, eyeshadow, mascara, and/or lip gloss are all you really need. Go easy on the application and keep it natural, so it compliments your look and enhances your face. At most schools, however, makeup doesn’t necessarily make you any more or less popular. Here are some tips to help you display a fresh, natural look:
    • Always wash your face and use moisturizer before applying makeup. Use acne cream if you have sensitive skin.
    • Choose foundation close to your natural skin color so you don’t look artificially pale or orange. Blend it to your skin. If needed, you can apply a little concealer to spots before applying foundation.
    • Apply mascara after curling your eyelashes so your eyes stand out. If you’d like, you can wear a small amount of facial highlights and maybe blush, wear some subtle eye shadow, and then apply lip color/gloss.
    • Some girls like to wear liquid eyeliner for a more “dramatic” look. If you do, don’t overdo it. A pencil or powder eyeliner gives you a more natural look. If you want a liner which lasts all day, you may use a gel liner.
    • For eyeshadow, select light natural colors that bring out your eyes, which you want others to pay attention to. You have loads of options. You can wear black or brown, or you can go really bold and choose other colors.
    • Keep a variety of lip gloss. Have some in pale colors and others in bolder hues.
    • Switch it up. If you choose to do bold eyes, do natural lips. If you choose to do bold lips, go for a natural look on the eyes. Ask your mom or older sister(s) for advice. Make sure you’re in your comfort zone. If you aren’t relaxed, others won’t be relaxed around you.
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    Take care of your nails. Nobody likes fingernails/toenails that are too sharp. Make sure to clip them weekly.
    • For a more stylish nail look, you may choose to polish them. You can do it yourself or go to the salon and get it done professionally. There are many unique variations. Avoid press-ons— They’re just fake nails!
    • If you’re wearing nail polish, make sure it matches your outfit.
    • Clean out any dirt or paint underneath your nails.

Part 2
Have a Fashionable Sense of Style

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    Choose clothing that expresses your sense of style and uniqueness. Pay attention to what the popular girls wear and where they shop, but don’t completely copy them, rather, let them inspire you.
    • Wear your clothes with confidence and style. You should try to dress fashionably and trendy, but don’t wear something just because “everyone else is wearing it”. Be original, not a clone of a girl.
    • If your school doesn’t have a dress code, try wearing trendy and unique clothes, but don’t wear something too crazy and strange. If your school has a dress code, know it well. Try to manipulate it and push the rules as far as you can to look unique and stand out. Don’t do it to the extent of getting in trouble, though.
    • When choosing out pants, make sure they fit properly. The back pockets should never bag down to the top of your legs. Skinny jeans are in style, and so are black/dark gray leggings.
    • Neon colors, black, and white are sure to help you stand out in the hallways, but never take it too far.
    • For shoes, buy combat boots, UGG boots, furry boots, sneakers, sandals, comfortable shoes, or high-soled shoes. You can shop for shoes online, at a store specializing in shoes, or even a boutique or thrift store if you don’t have much money to spend.
    • Make sure your clothing compliments your body shape, matches, and is comfortable. Remember, popular girls pay attention to what you wear. Don’t go highly overboard with your clothing and don’t dress in a tacky way. Grab some friends or a parent to help you decide what to wear before leaving for school.
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    Accessorize with cute bracelets, stud or small hoop earrings, infinity scarves, hats, purses, necklaces, and more!
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    Wear perfume/body splash. Girls all like to go out fresh and scented. Certain scents accentuate your personality in a way, but don’t choose one too strong. Don’t spray too much on yourself, either. You only need a couple squirts on your pulse points (where blood heat activates the smell).
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    Buy an awesome backpack. Choose one that expresses your personality and style; also make sure it’s comfortable and fits properly. Wear it with confidence.
    • Shoulder, messenger, or tote bags are really cute and stylish.
    • Buy a backpack that’s not only cute, but comfortable. Nobody wants to have a sore shoulder when they go home. Backpacks with 1 strap put too much strain on your shoulder, if you’re not careful.
    • Have a backpack spaced enough for all of your supplies.

Part 3
Building Your Popularity Skills

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    Be confident. Remember that shy girls really don’t attract very much attention at all, and if you’re not confident you can be an easy target for bullies.
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    Be yourself. Don’t force yourself to live in a way that you dislike. If you aren’t like yourself, you will attract people that have nothing in common with you. Don’t pretend to enjoy anything that you dislike or be friends with kids to your displeasure. By pretending to be someone you’re not, you will only be digging yourself deeper and deeper into a mess of lies and self hatred. Not immediately will this begin, but the time will come.
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    Lead. Be a great role model by always doing the right thing. Show leadership by taking charge of things that need to be done, improved, or even changed.
    • Don’t be afraid to speak up. If you disagree with something, don’t just pretend to go along with it because everybody else does. Tell them you disagree. It’s totally possible to do this in a pleasant and nice way, without upsetting others. It’s a good skill to learn and you’ll gain respect for sharing your opinion(s). People are more likely to consider your ideas if you speak truthfully, with conviction, and show that you’ve thought things through carefully.
    • Be a leader in gym class. All you have to do is show others that you’re willing to give all sporting activities a go, even if you’re not much skilled at some of them. To boost your confidence, buy good-quality gym clothes and shoes.
    • Have a mind of your own. All leaders have them and know where they’re headed; this is another good skill to cultivate early on.
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    Have a good comedic sense, but avoid saying daft jokes. Just don’t take it too far; aim to be unique, truthful, and appropriate. Being weird isn’t bad. It’s always okay to be random or spontaneous, provided you don’t go overboard.
    • If you don’t know how to be funny, then go online and find a few jokes that you like, and share them. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
    • Stick to nice humor. Don’t make fun of others; that will only make you look like a bully.

Part 4
Get Yourself Noticed

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    Get noticed! How can you be popular if nobody knows who you are? You need to be confident in yourself, and others will notice. Say “Hi!” to the person that sits next to you in Science, Math, Language Arts, etc. Sit with somebody new at lunch. Make a promise to yourself that every day you will meet different people. Make sure to get to know them, don’t just say you’ve met that person.
    • Smile, talk and laugh. Always be sincere so you can show the world that you’re an amazing, bright, awesome, positive person.
    • If you think that talking to that person would make you less popular, don’t gossip about them. Just treat them like an everyday person.
    • Whispering about others into a popular girl`s ear lets others know you’re talking about them, not showing that you’re cooler than them. This doesn’t make you more or less popular, so why do it? If you do it, which I advise you shouldn't, they will eventually ignore you, tell an adult (if it becomes an issue), laugh at you with their friends, or stand up to you and say something like: “You know, you’re really mean. How would you like it if someone were to do that to you?” Then they win by showing you up as a bully. If you don't want to be shown as a bully, don't do it.
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    Be friendly and meet everyone you can. Get everyone`s cell phone number when you meet them, so you can text each other. Texting is an easy way to build a relationship, but take it slow. You don’t want to come off as a stalker or people might get the impression that all you care about is how many friends you have. Make a few friends in the popular clique, too, and you should get to know the whole crew pretty fast.
    • Create Facebook, Tumblr, Kik, Instagram, and Snapchat accounts, so you can chat with your friends outside of school. By sharing friends online, more people will notice you. You might even get to know someone new! They’ll love your photos and conversations. Most popular girls have multiple friends on their social accounts. Keep in mind to be safe online, however, and it’s not cool to be harassing each other on the internet.
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    Be nice to everyone. No matter how much somebody annoys you, you should be respectful. It doesn’t mean you have to hang out with the nerds 24/7, but you do want them to look up to you, right? They will remember you. Be nice to boys, too, and remember, just because you’re friends with one doesn’t mean he has to become your boyfriend.
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    If you excel in a talent that you don’t have to get active about, then share it. For example, if there’s a piano in a room and nobody is using it, get everyone`s attention by playing that wonderful piece of Mozart (or whichever musician you prefer) with skill.
    • Enter your school`s talent show. You can play an instrument, plan a hilarious skit with your friends, etc.
    • If you excel in a more active sport, join your school`s sports team. You will get to know others who relate to you in a way. If you’re a comedic person, make some jokes out on the field. Once you step up to bat, or to play, this time is the best, most challenging part. Wow your audience by putting on a show, and you’re the star. But don’t be too obsessed about stealing the spotlight, though. Let your friends in with you.
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    Treat others how you’d like to be treated. If you’re mean, other people will be equally horrible to you. Nobody likes an obnoxious person.
    • The only way to keep from being gossiped about is to keep from gossiping. Ever heard the phrase “Point a finger, and have three pointing back at you.”? It’s true.
    • Don’t be mean. No one is going to like you if you’re not nice. Being popular doesn’t mean being a blond, beautiful, but stuck-up cheerleader (stereotype); it means people liking you for who you are.
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    Show up. How can you be popular if you’re not there? We all have some bad days, sick days, or just-don’t-want-to-go days. Try to show up - and on time, as you don't want to get in trouble - as much as you can! This will give you a chance to socialize more and have more time to get noticed. Don’t skip school even if you hate it. Once you join a group of friends, there won’t be a reason to skip school because you will want to see your friends. Don’t leave them sitting in class without you.
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    Be loyal. If you have friends then don’t ignore them, undermine them, or dump them into trouble. You might be popular, but you will lose good friends if you’re disloyal to them.
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    Become friends with the popular clique. This might help you to spread your popularity, by association. One way to get known by the popular girls is to date the popular boys, but that’s not always the best plan and never take it too far. If they don’t accept you, relax. You can still be popular even though the so-called "populars" won’t give a chance. One is popular when he/she is accepted (meaning that others pay attention to him/her). For all you know, their time might be up in the popularity game anyway, especially if you’re bringing something fresher and more interesting.
    • Become friends with older popular people. People will think that you are pretty special to be talking to upper grades. Plus it will help you get more noticed.
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    Don’t forget your old friends, even if they’re unpopular. They were there for you from the start. Become friends with their older siblings. Maybe you can get them to be popular, too!
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    Don’t limit your popularity to just one place. Once you do become popular, get to know other kids from other schools, whether they go to an elementary school or even a high school. You can meet and get to know these kids from joining out-of-school clubs, activities, and sports. It’s probably a good idea to get to know the girls you can relate to first. Have your school district know about you!

Don't get sucked in with all of the drama and gossip that most cliques have. Be loyal to everyone and if you do gossip and participate in the gossip, most likely people will find out and you might be strongly disliked by people. Remember, you are trying to be popular, not rude.

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Part 5
Hold Social Events

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    Organize parties, sleepovers, activities, and shopping trips! If you’re the one to organize it, people will think you’re really fun.
    • If you have a sleepover, make sure you have something fun to do, like ding-dong-ditching the hot guy next door, playing pranks on the mean neighbor… that kind of stuff. Just make sure not to get into too much trouble.
    • Provide plenty of drinks and snacks. A good idea is to go see a movie before the sleepover begins. Another idea is to give your friends makeovers, make friendship bracelets, or have a glitter fight. The possibilities are endless!
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    Expand your interests and schedule. Join a sport at school. Host parties and join some with your friends. Hang out at the mall. Make a calendar with each day having something to do with someone, even if it’s just you and your friend seeing a movie.

Part 6
Be Cool

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    Don’t get into trouble. No matter how tempting it may seem, it’s not right, and you’ll only feel worse about yourself by being in trouble. If you know something isn’t right that you don’t want to do, stand up for yourself.
    • At school, follow the rules and dress code as well as you can.
    • Don’t do drugs. Once you start, you’ll be immediately addicted to them. Remember, you’re not an adult yet, and by doing drugs you’re only making yourself worse. Drugs are forbidden from school grounds, so why try them? Smoking a cigarette or drinking alcohol is wrong, unhealthy, and absolutely pointless.
    • Don’t be a bully. Stand up to bullying. This will help you gain more confidence with society.
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    Always have a good attitude. When you have a good attitude, it rubs off on others and then the happiness will spread. Plus, it makes you seem like a better person, and makes you feel better about yourself.
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    Keep your grades up! Even when you’re attracting a lot of attention from others, you still need to be smart in school. It’s not cool to skip all your homework, receive all F’s on assignments, and fail your tests. Keep this in mind: The more you achieve in school, you’ll have the better chance of getting a good job in the future.
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    Help out others and treat everyone the same way. If you excel at something and know someone who needs help in that area, offer to help them. If they say “No.”, don’t keep asking. Otherwise, if they come back to you because they do need assistance, help them.
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    Remember that many other students at your school are striving to be popular, too. But by the time after you graduate high school and go to college, popularity won’t matter, whatsoever. You’ll be in the real world, and what counts then is being good at what you’ve chosen to do and staying focused on your future and your family.


  • Try to stay clear of acne. Wash your face every morning and every night, and drink plenty of water.
  • Be positive! Don’t have a negative attitude. Stay fun and enjoy yourself, but don’t go overboard.
  • Try to fit in, but also try to be yourself and not someone else just because you think you have to live his/her way.
  • Always have a balanced diet! But don’t go crazy. It might harm your health. Certain girls in middle school are already self-conscious.
  • Try not to look as if you're trying too hard. You might get the comments of a 'faker' or 'wannabe'.
  • Don't be shy. Start talking to people. If one person doesn't like you, that doesn't mean everyone's going to be like that.
  • Sure, people compliment you when you look great, but eventually they will get used to your style. Shake it up a bit every once in a while, but don't get too crazy, or people will think you're trying way too hard.
  • Be aware of the dress code and look for loop holes. If the code discriminates hats or bandanas, try wearing little hair bows or a nice barrette instead.
  • Get involved in school spirit days and fun events. This way, you will stand out and more people will be attracted to your active spirit.
  • When smiling at people, smile with your eyes too! Let your eyes crinkle. It makes you look sincere.
  • If you have friends who the popular people call “nerds”, remember that they are still your friends. Don’t be ashamed by them and don't join the popular kids if they are teasing someone. Be a leader and tell them it's not cool, even if you’re scared that they may stop hanging out with you.
  • You can be interested in boys, but don’t let them become an obstacle in the way of your school work and schedule.
  • Get some beauty or fashion tips from teen magazines, books on make-up and grooming, your friends and siblings, and so forth.
  • If you have a crush on someone, speak up and ask him out. Don't ask him out, though, if you know that he doesn't like you.
  • Help out! Be a volunteer!
  • Don't look down at the ground when walking. Keep your chin up and smile.
  • Be sexy! Boys will love that look and can come after you, depending on the way you act. Never overdo it. It can get you in trouble.
  • Always be presentable. Be a good student and try to participate in whatever activities you can.
  • If you are a sporty girl then tryout for sports that popular girls take. For example, cheerleading or volleyball.
  • Always remember your old self and try to look back, it will help!! Get good grades too!
  • Compliment others and boost other people's confidence. Don't let popularity go to your head.


  • In any group of friends be very careful about girls that are jealous. It could start out as just dirty looks, but they may step it up by spreading rumors about you. Just be nice, treat them like you would anyone else, and never participate in any of their negativity.
  • Do not brag to others. You don't want to be the person who is always telling people about yourself and what you have. Some people don't have as much as others and you'll just make them feel uncomfortable.
  • Don't get into drugs or alcohol. It may sound like it will make you more popular, but it won't. In the end, you won't look bold and thrill seeking, you'll just look stupid. You'll lose everything if you do too many drugs.
  • Don't cross the line. You don't want to end up in trouble or getting labelled negatively.
  • Don't be nasty - you're only in middle school, you shouldn't be letting boys talk you into doing inappropriate things, and once you break up with someone don't date another one right after. Especially if your ex and the person you are dating know each other.
  • Try to not get overly mad when someone says something mean or rude to you. Just look blankly at them and then turn your head. You won't get very far if you fight back.
  • Don't do the wrong thing just to fit in! If people don't accept you for doing the right thing, then they're not very good friends.
  • Be cautious of cliques, and don’t get involved in fights between them. Middle school can be a scary place if you make it this way.
  • Don't interfere in other people's private conversations. If you ask them later and they say,'it's personal' or something like that, respect that and drop it.
  • Dating is probably important to you now, but you're only in middle school. If you're a girl, don't allow your whole life to revolve around boys. Be smart. Don't be inappropriate in school because you want to impress a boy.
  • Don't go overboard on being popular - popularity isn't what matters most in life.

Remember, it's all about you.

  • Often you worry that bullies will bring you down. The thing is, those bullies might be popular kids you strive to hang out with. Almost anyone could play that game but there are long term consequences. Being loud and obnoxious is not going to get you into college. Moral of the story, the popular kids may or may not be the ones who care about their grades.
  • Deal with bullies. Bullies are going to be there in middle school. Do not let them get to you.
  • Be nice to everybody no matter who likes you or who you like back.
  • Don't try to be someone you aren't because you'll come across as a "wannabe." Don't copy others; be yourself and you'll find more people you have something in common with you and your life will be better.
  • Use appropriate language. No swearing. It may sound cool but it's not. Expressing yourself without swearing makes you come across as more intelligent, like you have something worth saying. There is never a need for those words so don't use them.

Article Info

Categories: Middle School Popularity