How to Deal With a Lazy and Messy Stepson Who Lacks Manners

A stepson with some issues can be fixed, but be prepared for failure just in case.

Steps

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    Motivation is often connected to relationships. People respond well to people who make them feel good. Try to find him doing anything right or good and then make him feel good about it. Compliment and thank him. Give him a reward.
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    For example, if you ever see him clean something up, don't make a big deal out of it. Only reward big. Simply say "Oh, thanks for cleaning ____. Do you want to _____?" This depends on the boy. What appeals to him? Ice cream? or better yet Gelato? Likes hanging out with friends but needs a ride? Anything he really likes to do or see and doesn't get to often. Then obviously follow through. This is basic psychology. Just continue conditioning him.
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    If he absolutely never cleans anything then you'll have to sacrifice. Clean his room when he's not around and never sees or hears you doing it. Then we he gets home say, "Hey I noticed your room was clean. Did you clean it?" He'll so no or since he has bad manners Hell no or something along those lines and you say "oh well I'm glad it's clean and offer the same thing as in step 2.
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    Manners really all depends on the boy.With boys you can simply start showing no change in emotion when he says or does something rude and because he's no longer getting a reaction, he'll get a new hobby.
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    be understanding. he could feel neglected and angry that you are with his mom. remember it is somewhat traumatic for him to see you with his mom.it is possible he feels he was pushed out of the picture.
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    keep in mind that when you were his age, were you any better?i assume not.even if you were that does not give you the liberty to be judging of him.if you are not judgmental you are doing a great job and just try your best.
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    Don't try to replace his original parent.Be forty percent friend, sixty percent parent.
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    be loving. he could feel very rejected. make sure you are nice about things in his situation so he does not feel obligated to lie to you.

Tips

  • The ultimate answer is always love!
  • Be persistent in what you do
  • Have patience
  • Don't push. If none of these steps work then you'll have to have a sit down talk with him.
  • Good luck!
  • If nothing works then all that's left is a therapist.
  • This is really for teen boys who you have to plan it out like a war.

Warnings

  • If you just got married then give him time to adjust don't expect him to fit your standards when you first join the family

Article Info

Categories: Creating Life Balance | Step Parents