How to Deal with Immature Older Sisters

Here you are after a fight with your older sister. She is probably the kind of person, who, in front of your parents, acts like the most innocent kitty in the world, but is just an annoying cockroach behind their back. Probably your sister is the one who always gets defended on family fights by either one or both of your parents. If you are tired of dealing with her, you are not alone.


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    Identify the problem. Since we are talking about older sisters, probably your age difference is considerable. You might find yourself in the position where since she is older, your mother thinks you owe her your life because your sister "took care of you" as a baby. It is true that you have to respect your older siblings because of the fact that they're older than you, but you should always remember: respect is earned, not imposed. Don't let them make you feel like you owe them something, especially if your sister is the one making this up.
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    Use self-control. The key to success is self control. If you have this disgrace as a sister you are used to having your parents involved in your fights. This might look as an advantage but it is definitely the opposite. If your parents are involved they are always going to take your sister's side just because she is the oldest one.
    • On moments like this, the most intelligent thing to do is let her make a scene and fire back with mature and intelligent answers. It can be very difficult to keep yourself from pushing these beasts down the stairs so to be fair with your feelings, it's okay to cry; just don't take too much advantage of your feelings because if not you're going to look like a crybaby.
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    Avoid further contact after altercations. We have reached a point in the relationship where we concluded that we can't just live together with our sibling anymore. You're absolutely right; the problem is having to be in contact with her.
    • After a fight, the best choice is to walk away and not talk to your sibling for a long time. We all know how annoying it is to walk out of an argument as a loser because your parents think you're always the villain. To avoid further anger and being fair to the wonderful human being you are, stay away from her by all means. Every problem starts because you two have to talk to each other. If you stay out of her way, you can avoid all kinds of contact, thus avoiding another quarrel.
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    Find activities you enjoy to distract yourself. House chores are a good option. Try not to be too much on common family areas to avoid the chances of running into unwanted people. Focus on your homework, spending time with your pets, or just hanging out with your other normal siblings. If you're alone with her, then try to find a hobby that includes being all by yourself. Remember: it is better to be alone than horribly accompanied.
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    Hang out with friends or your significant other. Spending time outside or away from your family can be very beneficial even if it doesn't sound like it. You've spent your whole life with these people so now it is a good moment to have a break from them and find real valuable companions. Dating someone may be very useful in this situations in order to find comfort and support.
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    Be patient. Good news: you're not going to spend all your life fighting with your sister. Remember that time passes very quickly and when you least expect it, one of you is going to be moving out of the house and the sun is going to shine again. It is important for you not to spend your days waiting for the moment where you or her move out because the longer you stare at the pot, the longer it is going to take for it to boil.
    • Enjoy your time outside of your house (at school, for example) and always keep in mind that your sibling is that annoying. Also, keep in mind that your parents are too protective with her.


  • Remember, humans fear what they don't understand. Your sibling doesn't understand why you are normal, while she is less mature and her only way to defend herself is using your parents as a shield.

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Categories: Creating Life Balance