How to Deal With Your Shy Guy

So either you just asked him out or he just asked you out. But now he's not talking to you? Don't panic - you just need to establish a level of trust between the two of you and try to draw him out of his shell. Soon he'll be talking your ear off!


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    Give him a week or so to get the silence out of his system. Whether you are or not, he's probably embarrassed!
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    Start to talk about him! Guys like to talk about themselves, as everyone else does. If you don't want to talk about him, start a conversation that won't be answered by 'yes' or 'no' and it's ended. You could try to talk about TV shows, school projects, friends, etc. Use your imagination!
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    Did you ever think he wants to be near you? Some guys don't want to make the first move in fear of being rejected or made fun of. Ask him to go to he movies or to a party with a group of your friends and his. Also, if he's sitting alone or with a group, go sit with him! he may be too shy to come by you.
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    Ask him out again if it's been awhile and he still isn't talking to you. If that fails, give him a little more time to cope. He'll get over it soon enough if he really likes you.
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    Tell him how you feel! If he cares about you one bit, he'll understand.
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    Did you ask him out or did he ask you out? Ask yourself this- it makes a big difference
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    Sometimes, and sadly, he may not like you as much as you thought he did. If you asked him out, he might have just been afraid to say no.
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    Think to yourself, if it has come to this point, "Am I happy with him?" "If we breakup, will I still want to be with him?" If you've truly answered yes to both, hang on a bit longer. Things will most likely get better. If you answered no to one of them, it's probably time to drop the bomb.


  • Always give guys their space. If you're all over him, calling and texting him every minute, he is going to feel smothered and will eventually break up with you for space.
  • Remind your guy of how special he is to you. Try to butter him up, but not too much. You want him to feel comfortable around you, right?
  • Be social to him. He may think you're the shy one and avoid talking to you.
  • Don't be overly possessive.
  • If you start seeing negatives in your relationship, write down what you can do to prevent those cons from getting worse, and put it to the test. Chances are, he'll see the same cons in the relationship.


  • Some guys were born shy, so take it slowly. He'll eventually grow onto you.
  • Don't act nervous. Even if you are shaking inside around him, you'll both feel awkward.
  • Don't try to be too flirtatious around a shy guy. Once you've just started dating him, he may want to be away to build boundaries for a bit. Coming on too fast will scare him off!
  • Don't talk about anything that would make him feel uncomfortable or have less self-esteem, such as that he didn't make the team.
  • NEVER EVER EVER cheat on a guy because he won't talk to you. If you think of doing this, you probably don't like him as much as you thought you did.
  • When you talk to him, make sure he understands what you're talking about. You don't want him to be bored or annoyed of you!

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Categories: Commitment Issues