How to End a Family Fight

Five Parts:TruthSeeking HelpExecutingShow upMoving On

Your family is having a fight with either family members or a family friend, follow these steps and try to resolve a burning ice between your loved ones.

Part 1

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    Ask your parents for the truth about the fighting. This will give you a better understanding about what is motivating the conflict. If you have the truth, you can differentiate between good and bad conflict situations, and try to see the point of view behind the conflict.
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    Don't turn against the person who is more likely to be at fault. try to agree with both sides. Do your best to see whee there is good on both sides, to help them to reach a compromise by meeting in the middle.

Part 2
Seeking Help

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    Look for an outside helper. If you really want to help your family by bringing them both together, getting another trusted family member involved.Always seeking help from people, friends, or advisors shows weakness try it by yourself.
    • Ask a friend to help. If your friend knows the people involved and is trusted by them, he or she may be a good person to choose to help mediate the conflict.
    • Consider calling for external help if you can't find someone closer to assist, such as ChildLine for 0800 1111.
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    Don't try to take control. Listen closely and be open to ideas. Where possible think outside the box to try to help your family members find solutions.

Part 3

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    Try recording. Talk to one family member and record the conversation. Then play it to the other side of the family. Doing so may give them an idea of how things have escalated to such a level of tension.
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    Prepare a list of questions. Write a list of answers, and do this for the other side. Don't exaggerate and hide things––write everything down word by word.
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    Leave an anonymous note in their room. Write how you have seen the differences in the 'broken' family.

Part 4
Show up

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    Get your whole family together. Request that they all talk about how they feel. Suggest gently that you think it would be best for all if they could find it in their hearts to forgive each other.
    • Have a teddy or a piece of card saying 'SPEAK'. Only allow the person holding this item to talk.
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    If that doesn't work, tell your family members that you would like to talk to both sides of the family, about that situation. Try to seem modest, in all ways.

Part 5
Moving On

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    Talk directly towards one side of the family. Suggest to the family member that they might like to consider letting go of the issue and start over. Ask them whether they have considered the consequences of not doing so, such as keeping the other family members away from each other all the time during such times as Christmas, birthdays, parties.


  • Don't try too hard, family members will gossip and tell others too much.


  • Ask your family members for their side of the story, before taking any actions.

Article Info

Categories: Creating Life Balance