How to Get Even

Three Methods:Channeling Your Anger and Frustration into Creative EnergyGetting Others in on ItTaking the High Road

So someone you know got one up on you. Maybe it was a friend who pranked you, or a coworker who made you look bad while he got the glory. Perhaps a significant other did something that hurt your relationship, or maybe it was even someone you don’t really know. But what you do know is that it’s time to get even. Here are some methods you can take to get even, get revenge, and get some peace of mind.

Method 1
Channeling Your Anger and Frustration into Creative Energy

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    Play it cool for the time being. Sometimes getting even is a way to release negative emotions like anger which can be unhealthy.[1] Don’t show your hand, or your anger right away and say you're going to get even. Instead react honestly, and make your target think he's won. This way he'll be less likely to expect payback.
    • Say your coworker didn’t tell you about an important meeting or used your work as his own. Don’t call him out and make a scene at work, that will only make you look worse. Let him think he's won and wait for your chance to get even.
    • Is your friend taking advantage of your relationship? Tired of trying to talk to him and not getting through? Don't blow up at him, wait for your chance to get even.
    • Or perhaps your significant other is taking advantage of the relationship. Freaking out may exacerbate the situation, so stay calm and try not to say something you might regret like "This is why..." or "You always...".
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    Brainstorm ways to get even. There are plenty of inventive ways to get even.[2] Now it’s time to channel your frustration into creative thinking. Either come up with your own plan or try giving him a taste of own medicine. Plan the what, when, and where. Get to work early before anyone else so you have time to set up. Make plans to hang out with your friend at his place, or plan a date with your significant other.
    • Remember that coworker who wronged you? Think of what he did to you and use what you have at your disposal to get even.
    • Maybe your friend is always borrowing your stuff without asking. Why not get even by returning the favor?
    • Maybe your significant other is always late, or never offers to pay for anything.
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    Put your plan into action. Now it’s time to get your “just desserts”. With your plan all set up, you’re going to have to do some acting to keep him from thinking anything is up.
    • If you use something like a shared calendar at work you can set up a private event that won’t show up on your coworker’s calendar so he won’t know about it. If you’re looking to have a bit more fun, you can also go into a shared folder and move his files around, hide them in subfolders, or even remove them completely. Just make sure that what you're doing won't get you fired.[3][4]
    • Borrow your friend’s phone charger and hide it so that when his phone runs out of battery he can’t charge it. It may sound kind of silly, but hey, we're getting even here. Or, if you’re really feeling creative, use his phone or computer to get on his social media account and post on his behalf apologizing for all of his transgressions.
    • Get even with your significant other by making him wait for once, or “forget” your wallet when you go out.
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    Document getting even so he remembers. This way you can enjoy it over and over again. This part is just as fun as getting even. Snap a couple of photos or shoot a video, you can even have a friend help you out with this. There’s no better way to make someone remember what he's done than to provide proof, after all.
    • And if you’re feeling a little vindictive, you can always upload it to social media.
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    Reconcile after you get even. Remember here that you’re getting even, not ruining his life or destroying a relationship. Reveal why you did what you did and show him that you’re even now by helping him with anything you may have done.

Method 2
Getting Others in on It

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    Find others who are looking to get even. Chances are you’re not the only one who feels wronged. This could come in handy when looking for ways to get even.
    • Maybe your coworker has wronged several of you. Work with others to formulate a plan.
    • Grab your friends for a multi-front getting even scheme. You can all use social media to your advantage, or if you have access to your target's apartment or home, enough of you can easily rearrange his furniture, and if you really want to get even, you can do something like putting his mattress on the roof.
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    Assign a role to everyone. Just like every great heist flick, or mafia movie, everyone has a role. Figure out who is going to distract your target, who’s going to be the lookout, who’s going to be the greaseman, etc. Getting even requires precision when there are many moving parts so make sure everyone knows his role.
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    Practice and rehearse. You wouldn’t play in the Superbowl without practicing, so don’t get even without some rehearsal.
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    Execute the plan for getting even. Now that everyone has been assigned a role, it’s time to put your plan into action.
    • If you’re getting even with your coworker, know how long it will take you to complete your task. Have you and your compatriots get to work early to clock how much time you have.
    • If you’re getting even with your friend, know what his schedule is like and how long it will take you to get in and get out. If you need his phone or computer pay attention to how he uses it and if he leaves it unlocked. Alternatively, if he has a passcode on his phone, one simple option here is to have your other friend distract your target while you put in the wrong passcode enough times to lock him out. You can even lock him out for 24 hours if you’re feeling especially vindictive.
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    Bask in your glory! You did it! You and your friends got even, now relish in your achievements with a beverage or two.

Method 3
Taking the High Road

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    Make the decision to let it go.[5] It might sound counterintuitive to getting even, but sometimes the best way to get even is by leaving it up to karma and making peace with yourself. Show the person who wronged you that his immaturity doesn’t affect you by deciding to just let it go.
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    Express how you feel. Deciding to let it go doesn’t mean ignoring what happened. Feel free to confront the person who wronged you and tell him that what he did isn’t ok.
    • Letting it go also doesn’t have to mean that things stay the same. For example: stop letting your friend take advantage of your relationship by not loaning him things or letting him use your stuff.
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    Focus on the present and the future. You can’t change the past, but you can change how you let what happened affect your future.
    • Dwelling on things that have happened to you isn't always bad, but when you can't let something go, especially if it's a negative memory or feeling, you can get stuck in a sort of neutral zone.[6]
    • If you're taking the high road approach and deciding to move forward, try setting positive goals to accomplish or flip negative feelings into positive ones. For example: if your coworker made you look bad, maybe it's a cry for help. Perhaps he actually looks up to you and values you. In the future try and help him with his work.
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    Forgive him.[7] Sometimes showing someone you forgive him is a very powerful way to get even. And just because you forgive, doesn’t mean you have to forget.
    • Forgiveness can come in plenty of forms, from simply telling someone that you forgive him to helping him accomplish something he's having trouble with.
    • Express your feelings verbally. Tell him why his actions offended you, and how he made you feel.
    • Put yourself in his shoes. What's the reason for his actions? Think of a time you felt similar and what you did to move past the situation.
    • If all else fails, just breathe. Take some time to yourself and take a few deep breaths, try to remember that the world is larger than you and what's going on in your life.


  • Joke about it.
  • Don't do something that you know will ruin your relationship with your friend or partner.
  • Don't take it too far. Remember that you’re getting even, not trying escalate this into a war.
  • Apologize afterward and help him, or even treat him to a bite to eat to show that you were just having fun.[8]


  • Be careful with what you say. Telling your significant other that you cheated might cause distrust or questions to arise in your relationship.
  • Try to avoid damaging any of his personal property or doing something that would cost money to fix.

Article Info

Categories: Relationship Issues