How to Hint for a Kiss from a Guy

In most societies around the world, it's traditionally up to the guy to initiate a couple's first kiss. If you're a girl, this takes a lot of pressure off you, but sometimes it can be frustrating if you want to be kissed but your guy is a little too shy to try. You can use some subtle signals, such as breaking the touch barrier, to hint for a kiss from a guy you like.


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    Be inviting. Because of respect for your wishes (and the fear of rejection), a guy generally won't try for a first kiss unless he's pretty sure you want him to. If you do, you should try to make him feel comfortable and confident. Flirt with him, laugh at his jokes, smile a lot, and compliment him. If you put him at ease and let him know you enjoy being with him, he'll usually find the courage to try to kiss you.
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    Break the touch barrier. Touch him lightly on the arm or shoulder when you're talking. Just make it a quick, innocent touch and don't make a big deal out of it. Holding hands is also a good way to break the touch barrier. The simple act of touching can strengthen the intimacy between you and him. Sometimes, a guy will break the touch barrier, and if you're comfortable with him doing so, touch him back. But don't wait for a guy to make the first move here, because girls can generally get away with breaking the touch barrier earlier in a relationship than guys can.
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    Look at his lips. When you're alone with a guy and want to be kissed, make eye contact and then move your gaze briefly down to his lips. Then move your eyes back up to meet his and smile demurely. You don't have to be really obvious about it—just a quick glance down at his lips is better than staring at them all conversation. Many guys will take the hint. If it doesn't work the first time, try again when the time is right.
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    Draw attention to your lips. Drawing attention to your lips will serve to subtly remind your date that you'd like him to kiss you. Focus on physical draws rather than piling on lipgloss or lipstick.
    • Touch your lips. Gently run your fingers across your lips periodically, or play with your bottom lip. In moderation, these are both good ways to signal to your partner that you'd like a kiss. However, overdoing it will make it look unnatural and can be a huge turn off.
    • Bite your bottom lip. Again, you should do this softly and in moderation. Subtle, playful lip bites will draw his attention to your lips. It will also make your lips slightly redder and more plump without lipgloss or lipstick, making your lips more inviting without making him scared of messing up your carefully planned makeup.
    • Lick your lips. Try to avoid the clichéd, slow lick across the lips while giving sexy eyes. Not only is this hard to take seriously, but few people actually do it well. Instead, gently wet your lips once in a while with your tongue. You can then follow immediately with a subtle bottom lip bite if you want to drive the point home. Too much licking, though, can make you look crazed and hungry while making your lips slobbery and unappetizing. Try to use this one only as a last resort.
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    Linger. If he's dropping you off after a date, linger for a moment. If you're in the car, don't get out right away. Instead, sit next to him and wait for a few seconds. Unbuckle your seatbelt and look at him expectantly. Making somewhat awkward conversation may seem painful, but it may be just the thing to spark him into kissing you; if the conversation is too passionate or exciting, there might not be enough pause for him to feel comfortable moving in for the kiss.
    • If he walks you to your door, fiddle with your keys for a couple seconds. This is a universal sign that you're asking for an after-date kiss. Look up once or twice to give him a chance to lean in.
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    Move in. You have to be close to each other to kiss, and the less distance a guy has to travel to kiss you, the easier it is for him to give it a try. So get close. When the moment seems right, put your face close to his and look at him expectantly. If you're brave, you could try moving in as though you're going to kiss him.
    • Try this move during or just after a hug. Give him a long, intimate hug (avoid patting him on the back or just using one arm—these can both be interpreted as disinterest). Before unwrapping your arms or pulling your body away, lean your head back. This will give him a chance to lean in for the kiss. Worst comes to worst, you can just let go immediately with your body and arms, or else you can quickly kiss him on the cheek.
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    Talk about it. If the guy isn't taking your subtle hints, bring up kissing in conversation. If you're watching a movie together and see an on-screen kiss, mention that it's "so romantic" or something to that effect. Alternatively, bring up your first kiss or a silly story about a bad kiss you've had. Then, bring up how much better you've gotten since then. It might be the feeder line he needs to lean in and see for himself.
    • If the guy is really shy, you might just want to put it on the line and tell him that you'd like him to kiss you.
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    Kiss him. There's no law that says the guy has to initiate the kiss, and some guys--especially if they've never kissed a girl before--just won't take your hints. If you want to kiss him, just go ahead and do it.


  • Live in the moment. You will not kiss as well if your mind is somewhere else. For example, when kissing, try to avoid thoughts like "What is he/she thinking about?", "Do I look good tonight?", or anything else. Don't be too self-conscious, or have ANY thoughts outside the kiss if you can help it. Instead, concentrate on the way the other person's lips feel against yours.
  • One good way of breaking the touch barrier is to "compare hand sizes" then smile and lace your fingers for a moment. This is a cute way to break the touch barrier. If he seems fine with that, try holding his hand.
  • Try to avoid crossing your arms. This tells him, in body language, that you're not open to affection.
  • One way to get a guy to move closer is to pretend to shake as though you're cold. If he doesn't get it right away, then rub your hands up and down against your arms; this will get his attention and maybe hint to him what you're trying to do. If still he doesn't snuggle up to you, you'll have a good excuse to snuggle up to him.
  • If the guy seems to be talking a lot, especially if he's talking quickly, he could be nervous because he's thinking about kissing you. In this case, tell him, "You talk too much." Say it playfully and with a smile, and maybe even briefly put your finger to his lips as though you're "shushing" him. He will most likely initiate a kiss.
  • If have lip balm, put some on then offer him some. If he wants it, hand it to him and smile. This will be a good hint for wanting more lip contact. Or, if you're daring, give him some lip balm by kissing him! (Note that this works better with unscented, uncolored lip balm.)
  • Men are often afraid of crossing the line because they are not sure if they have read the hints right! It can be easier for all (after building up the mood) if you are clear about what you want, no hinting, no hidden meanings, etc. Put your hands around his waist and say, "Let's kiss" or something similar.
  • Before seeing him, get your lips in proper kissing order. The most kissable lips are smooth and sweet, not dry, chapped and tense. Exfoliate your lips with sugar to make them soft. Apply a little bit of lip balm to keep them moist.


  • If you're wearing lipstick or colored or scented lip balm, he might be apprehensive about kissing you because he doesn't want to get it on his own lips (especially if you're in public or at risk of having other people come around who might make him feel embarrassed).
  • Telling a guy he talks too much may result in you annoying him. If he likes to talk, or thought he was actually trying to have a conversation with you, and is totally oblivious to what you are trying to do, he may take offense, and think that you don't care about what he has to say. Use this technique with caution.
  • If the kissing isn't what you hoped it'd be (which is not uncommon, especially if he isn't experienced at kissing) give him signals. When he does something you like, let him know. Moan softly, hold him closer, melt in his arms--send out signals that he or she is getting it right.
  • Don't be too heartbroken if you don't get a kiss. The guy may just not be ready yet, or he may not like you in that way.
  • Note that the touch barrier is culture dependent. In certain cultures, e.g. Islamic, breaking the touch barrier is a big taboo that can land you in serious trouble. Be very careful.

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