How to Insult Somebody Creatively

Four Parts:Keeping your calmBeing coolReacting through good argumentUsing the other person's frustration

Creatively insulting someone is one way of delivering a quick comeback that settles a score or puts someone back in their place. Whether it's someone who uses insults constantly or is someone who doesn't know where to draw the line on making fun of you, a creative insult can stop the annoying behavior in its tracks.

Part 1
Keeping your calm

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    Think before reacting. If you insult someone without taking a moment to gather your wits, you'll probably just be plain defensive or come across as confused. When you insult them, take a small amount of time to think about it. Not too much or they'll catch on, but a long pause is just fine. If you're short on ideas use a previous insult and modify it. Chances are, they won't catch it.
    • Take a few deep breaths (draw your breath in noisily if it helps), concentrate on what needs to be said and draw on your pre-rehearsed comebacks (see step 2).
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    Think up insults in your free time. Think up appropriate ways to insult the different people who might insult you. If you have a starting point, the rest will come easier.
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    If you don't take their insults seriously, they won't be able to insult you seriously.

Part 2
Being cool

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    Don't react. Instead, just smile and laugh it off. It will make the person wonder what they're doing wrong.
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    Don't swear or resort to "Your mom!" or any other variants such as "That's what she said!" You can use "your mom" jokes to make them be quiet when they are coming up with a comeback to stop them, but they're not creative and people have become used to ignoring them.
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    If you have a point of pride, and they tried to hit it, realize that it is because of their insecurities. If you then talk about how their insult would apply to them more than you, they are removed of this crucial power and you have pointed out that which is evident––they're projecting their insecurities onto you.
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    Find their points of pride and insult them on it. If they come up with a comeback, chuckle a bit say, "It's a bit too late for sarcasm, but thank you." You must remain grounded in your apparent idea that they were complimenting you, they won't believe it, but it will make it harder for them to insult you effectively.

Part 3
Reacting through good argument

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    If you do catch a flaw in their argument, point it out and mock them for it. Once again, it is all about removing their power and therefore increasing yours.

Part 4
Using the other person's frustration

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    If you stop them from insulting you, they will get frustrated and try harder. If so, interrupt them and pick apart their insults.
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    If they are frustrated, you have essentially won. Frustration is the equivalent of an arm bar in martial arts, you haven't won yet, but you're about to. this point is critical. You have the choice to either apologize at this point or continue and send them into a swearing or crying wreck. You need to feel when they're frustrated.

Tips

  • They are human, and therefore affected by insults. But not by swearing.
  • Do not say "your mom" either.
  • Stand your ground. In Japanese martial arts you are told to hold your center and take theirs, you must keep yours before you can take theirs.
  • Learn fancy insults, they won't understand them, but they will be intimidated.
  • Swearing is overused, it doesn't mean anything.
  • Sit up straight, try to seem intimidating.
  • Shakespeare had some pretty good insults in many of his plays. They work not only as an insult, but to confuse/frustrate.
  • No, seriously, don't swear.
  • Try not to insult their appearance, it will make you seem shallow to others and it's not creative (which this article is all about).
  • Make sure that you never insult their appearance, as it seems weak because you're not trying hard enough.

Warnings

  • Don't swear!
  • When they start swearing, gaping, or crying, stop and leave them alone until they insult you again.

Things You'll Need

  • A quick wit can be honed at most libraries.
  • A firm center, comes with self knowing, and knowing where your insecurities lie.

Article Info

Categories: Language Nuances