How to Know You Are Being Scammed in a Relationship

If you ever suspected your significant other is scamming your lifelong proceeds and keeping you up at night worrying about your finances, please read on.


  1. Image titled Know You Are Being Scammed in a Relationship Step 1
    Know that the person doesn't necessarily have to be from a foreign country who all of sudden is the love of his/her life after a couple of emails(the classic scam), but can be two blocks away and accomplish the task.
  2. Image titled Know You Are Being Scammed in a Relationship Step 2
    In the beginning of your relationship, watch out for the following red flags:
    • Promising way too much in the beginning and never coming through. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is false. If they say "I love you" after a couple of meetings, take that as a red flag.
    • The person usually is secretive about where they live, their family, their associates, and their friends. Will give you an excuse as being "raised this way" or wanting "things to be private for awhile" They will not talk about their past, usually to keep you at length. Pay attention to what they do say as a scammer usually slips up.
    • The person has a sudden crisis and needs help, this will happen frequently. Let's face it, you barely know the person and is expecting help from you? A huge red flag. The crisis will happen when you are enjoying doing something else without them and will happen on a frequent basis in order to control you and to keep the scam going. They have a a constant medical crisis for example and they need your money quick. Other examples maybe their car is always breaking down, they need money to see you, a family member needs money to save their home, etc.
    • If you do decide to help financially, the person is instantly quite distant and ignore you, you can't get a hold him/her for days, or they had to take an un-expected trip. They will not account for the money you just provided them. If you push this, they will threaten to leave you in a way to dis-arm your accusations and turn the tables on you claiming you are insecure or you don't trust them.
    • Does the person have a secret friend? Watch how frequently this person is on the phone while with you, usually a scammer has an associate he/she is working with for advice to keep you on the hook.
  3. Image titled Know You Are Being Scammed in a Relationship Step 3
    Know what you are looking for. Strippers/Exotic Dancers are an example of a love scammer who does this in the open. They will give the lure of something more so they can obtain your money. The better ones will claim they don't have a boyfriend or not married in a way to entice you to throw more money at them. It is an endless cycle until you have no more money to give, then poof they instantly will discard you.
  4. Image titled Know You Are Being Scammed in a Relationship Step 4
    Bottom line is, do not provide and money or assistance to someone in a relationship for at least a year if you want the relationship to be a success and to prevent the classic love scam. Usually a year of knowing a person, trust can be built. Unfortunately if you encounter a scammer and fall in love, they like the stripper will discard you as soon as you cut them out of your finances, but fortunately you may be able to move on with your life. Addicts are classic scammers, they will say and do what they need to, to keep their addiction going.
  5. Image titled Know You Are Being Scammed in a Relationship Step 5
    Remember, no money being transacted in any relationship, no matter how much in love you are for a year. Just think to yourself, how did this person get by before you, they can get by just fine if their love is legitimate for you. Throwing money at any relationship never works, you will slowly build up a deep seated resent for the person.
  6. Image titled Know You Are Being Scammed in a Relationship Step 6
    If it is an online or long distance relationship, he/she will always have an excuse on why you can't meet face to face.


  • If you suspect you are being scammed, ask for legal help. Do not hesitate to file a police report which is the first step. Ask your friends and family what they think. Never let the scammer know you are on to them, they will make you insane in trying to stay a step ahead of you.
  • If you are serious about the relationship, instead of spending money on this person, hire a private investigator it will save you from embarrassment later.

Article Info

Categories: Commitment Issues