How to Look Unapproachable to Men

Are you a frequenter of public transportation and annoyed by the dreaded chatty flirt that has nothing better to do than stalk women? Commuting can be an annoying experience if you are propositioned or followed daily on public transportation, going to and from work. Many chatty strangers do not seem to think that the "tired, grouchy, long day of work" attitude most people on transit have should apply to women. If this is something you experience, here is a guide to help keep you from attracting too much attention from these persistent characters.


  1. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 1
    Dress inconspicuously. Wear duller colors, such as blacks and navy blues. Dress conservatively if you are commuting to work daily, this should be quite easy. Dress to blend in with the crowd. Note the main colors that everyone else wears. If you stand out, someone may want to strike up a long, dull conversation about your boots. People are naturally attracted to bright cheery colors, like yellows and oranges. Wear your blazer on the bus to cover up any colorful garb.
    • You may also try another method of dressing to intimidate. An overly stylish trendy look can put a dampener on anyone's advances because you look inaccessible. Make sure you are covered up, as a slice of skin may give out the signal that you are okay with attention.
  2. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 2
    Stare out of the window. Look as if you have somewhere else to be. If it is summer, you can get away with wearing dark sunglasses that hide your eyes and give you privacy.
  3. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 3
    Work on your unfriendly face. Everyone has one, so find yours. Set your lips in a straight line and look past everyone on the subway car. Avoid eye contact as much as possible. Look as if you are tired, moody and have something else to do later.
    • Do not make eye contact in public places for a prolonged amount of time, people may think you want to speak.
    • Victoria Beckham developed a very stern face and it's one she is well known for. Follow her example.
  4. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 4
    Keep busy. Take advantage of looking preoccupied with something else. You can use your phone, a Kindle or other digital device as a useful barrier to demonstrate your desire to be left well alone.
    • Hunch over your phone and push the earbuds in to play music. Most polite people will not try to get you to remove your earphones, it's considered rude or too much like hard work. If a person tries to speak to you while you are listening to music, they are impolite and inconsiderate. If this happens, it is perfectly okay for you not to remove your headphones to aid their needs unless it is an emergency. The person is impolite for not respecting your time and valuing their needs over yours. Wave them away or simply ignore them.
    • Keep your eyes fixed on your phone and play a few games.
    • Set your purse or bag on your lap––it creates a physical barrier between you and anyone familiar with good social behavior.
    • Some people are very rude and do not consider phones to be a "leave me be" sign. Bring an actual book and read it. Or simply refuse to engage.
  5. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 5
    Behave in an unapproachable way. Look out the window. If someone sits besides you, avoid eye contact and turn your attention out the window. If someone speaks to you, do not smile, as a smile is mistaken for openness to pursue or carry on with the conversation. Keep your words short and to the point. A simple yes or no will suffice. Make your pauses longer than normal. Refuse to be drawn on saying anything further. Try a grimace, to demonstrate that any attempt to talk is irritating to you.
  6. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 6
    Wear a wedding ring or band. In some countries, it can help to wear a wedding ring on the correct ring finger, as it's a good signal for you to be left alone. A thin band in gold plate or silver will keep certain men from striking up conversations with you. Rings can cost anywhere from 99 cents and beyond on major auction sites. Check out a thrift store for a ring that looks nice.
    • Make sure that the ring is not a burglar target or draws attention––if it's too sparkly, a man may want to converse about your ring for the purpose of getting it!
  7. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 7
    Stop the conversation. A simple "I had a long day, I am not in the mood for conversation" will stop usually the most chatty person in their tracks. Do not be afraid to tell someone you are not interested, you do not owe anyone a date, time or conversation if you do not feel like it and they should respect that. Imagine how that character is going to be in a relationship where they do not respect your smallest opinion or personal space.
    • Tell the person you are too busy.
    • Say that you are not in the mood to carry on a conversation.
    • If your number is asked for, calmly state that you never hand your number out to strangers.
    • State that you are simply not interested.
    • If it's the morning, say that you have facts and figures to go over before getting to work and that you're too busy to talk.
  8. Image titled Look Unapproachable to Men Step 8
    Don't to be shy to stop any attempt to ask you on a date. You do not owe anyone the time of day because they feel you should give them a chance to date you, no matter what society says. If the persistent stranger keeps flirting with you and asks for your number, be simple and blunt. Do not smile as you turn down his advances, he may try to persist if you smile. It is okay to not want to talk on the transit or hand your number over to a stranger after a long day at work.
    • Tell him you are busy and not looking for a relationship.
    • Tell him you are with someone else. Tell him your husband will be annoyed when you relate this attempt to flirt with him when you get home tonight
    • Mention that you are tired, that you've had a long day and that you're not in the mood to talk.
    • If he asks for your number, tell him you do not hand numbers over to complete strangers. Do not hand out a fake number, some men will try to phone you on the spot to make sure the number is real.
    • Say you are not interested. And then say absolutely nothing else and get back to what you were doing.


  • Ask for the assistance of other passengers if you feel harassed. Reach out to them by addressing them generally and asking for their help with the man.


  • If you experience the guy trying to follow you when you alight the transportation, go straight to a public place and ask for help and/or call the police.

Things You'll Need

  • A large bag
  • A wedding ring/band
  • Music player
  • Smartphone
  • Kindle
  • Sunglasses
  • Dark overcoat/jacket

Article Info

Categories: Relationship Issues