How to Make a Girl Who Is Really Mad at You Forgive You

OK, you really blew it this time! She's furious with you, and you don't know how she's ever going to forgive you! Should you send flowers? Her favorite cupcake? A new BMW? Maybe even say you're sorry—no matter what they say in the movies? Let's take a look at the options, and see if we can't help you get things patched up.


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    Apologize first and foremost. Apologies mean a lot—but only if they're sincere—don't apologize by saying something like "I'm sorry if my actions caused anybody any discomfort." Roughly translated, that means "Gee, sorry you're so thin-skinned."
    • For example, saying something like "Honey, I'm sorry if making a pass at your sister bothered you, I was really drunk," blames your girlfriend for being upset, and makes an excuse for you—neither of which, despite the words, amounts to an apology.
    • Instead, say "Honey, I am so sorry for my actions. It was totally inappropriate, and I have no excuse. It will never happen again." She's still not going to forgive you right away, but at least you've taken ownership of your actions and show contrition—instead of blaming everybody but yourself. That counts for a lot.
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    Write an apology letter. Sometimes, words will not be enough. As horrible or simple as what you did may have been, write a letter telling her you know what you did was your fault, how sorry you are, and how you'll never do it again, will not only show you really are apologizing, it will also give her something that she can—and will—re-read. You would do well to deliver the letter with flowers.
    • In the example above, you may have two letters to write, not just one: The first letter, with roses (or her favorite flower), to your girlfriend; the second letter, to her sister. Do not send her sister flowers unless it's a bouquet you'd be comfortable sending to your mother.
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    Tell her how much you love and appreciate her. Tell her that you are very sorry and never meant to hurt her. This is a good place to leave the conversation, and take your leave:
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    Let things cool off. Don't keep saying sorry, because she will get more mad at you than she already is. Say your piece, and then excuse yourself. If you live with her, go take a walk, or shop for something she likes.—Just get out from underfoot for a while. If you live elsewhere, go home.
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    Check in with her the next day. Email or text message her and make small talk. This may just get the conversation started on the right track to being how you were before, but realize that you can't completely ignore the fact that you were in the wrong.
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    Give her time, if she needs it. In fact she may never forgive you, but all you can do, until she lets you know, is just wait.


  • Don't have someone apologize for you. Man up and face the music.
  • Tell her you love her, only if you mean it.
  • Sometimes it's better not to tell her everything you're going to change that makes her mad. Just show her that actions speak a whole lot louder than words.
  • Never ask her friend why she's mad! She will only be more mad at you, and be mad at her friend, because if she wanted you to know, she would have told you..
  • The process of apologizing for a wrong done and receiving forgiveness is a very natural part of human life. If you are genuine, if you didn't screw up too bad, and if she's forgiving, count your blessings, and do as your heart says.
  • After saying how sorry you are, ask her things about herself to make her feel special again.
  • Get her mother's advice, if you know the mother. Sometimes mother's know the best deal with you. Also the mother can fix matters too, but you have to be close with the mother.
  • Do make her feel loved. Kisses, sex, and romance will do good
  • Approach her, don't text or call her, show her you mean it.
  • If her friends are mad too, avoid them and just buy whatever you think she would like, such as chocolates or roses.
  • Don't apologize multiple times in a day, instead give her some space before saying sorry again but don't overdo it as it may seem annoying.


  • Don't just keep saying sorry. It just starts to get annoying after a while.
  • Don't rush to get the answer whether she forgives you or not. If things go well, she'll let you know.
  • Don't act crazy, like punching a wall, or yourself. You might think it's the only way you can get the anger out, but she will probably be afraid of you then.
  • Never tell a girl she's hot, girls don't like that, tell them they're beautiful.
  • Don't dwell on it or ever bring it back up, if she does forgive you.
  • Don't ask a million questions about her or it might scare her away again.
  • Tell her that you won't ever do it again and that you promise you won't hurt her again. And then don't. They have a word for chronic apologizing: abuse.
  • Try to avoid giving gifts such as jewelry or some long-lasting keepsake, as this is not a time to be remembered.
  • Seem upset, but not too upset!

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Categories: Commitment Issues