How to Make People Believe You're Secretly an Artificial Intelligence

Many people for a joke are trying to make people believe they're a vampire, or a werewolf, or an extraterrestrial from who-knows-where - but what about a computer/AI? It's actually more fun than you'd expect. Give it a go!

Steps

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    Set the scenario in your head. You're a computer. But what's your purpose? Why are you in a human body? Be adventurous. Keep a mental note of everything you think of.
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    Use long, fancy words that nobody has heard of.
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    When a teacher asks you to answer a question in class, answer it with as much information as you can. If you feel you can't answer it, say in a flat voice: "I am sorry, I do not understand." (make sure you don't sound cheeky though)
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    Replace words like "Yes" with "Affirmative" and "No" with "Negative"
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    Try not to show your emotions. This takes practice, but it's really effective.
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    Research trivia in your spare time. It can be about anything you want, for example, if you like a type of sport, you can research random facts about it.
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    On occasion, talk to your friend in a monotone fashion. Do this for an hour and see if they notice. If they do, they're most likely to ask "Are you alright?" or "Why are you talking like that?" Return to your own voice and say "What are you talking about?"
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    Act curious when people talk about human interests.
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    Try hard to get really high levels in class. If you're not the kind of person who wants to bother with all that hassle or look like a nerd, then just try a bit harder than you usually do.
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    Show a BIG interest in technology. It doesn't have to be computers themselves, although that WOULD be the best one to choose.
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    Watch and listen to AI's in fiction. GLaDOS from the Portal Series, HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey and even Mr Smith from The Sarah Jane Adventures are three great examples to start with. Listen to the way they talk, the words they use, etc.
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    DO have a sense of humour and DO use sarcasm. Many AI's in fiction like to make a witty joke or use sarcasm in an attempt to fit in with the human universe.

Warnings

  • Don't walk like a robot. This will make it obvious and possibly ruin the fun!

Article Info

Categories: Boredom Busters