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How to Not Let Your Life Revolve Around Your Boyfriend

Find yourself obsessing way too much about your boyfriend? Is your mind clouded with thoughts about him all the time? Do you love and want him so much that it hurts? If the answers to the above questions are yes and you want to make a change and get your life back to normal, read on.


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    Remember that you are born an individual. Remember that you were born alone and did not come attached with your boyfriend. You have lived your life before he came into the picture and sure he must have made you feel complete, but never forget that you are born an individual.
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    Do not let past experiences or past relationships control your present. Remember that every relationship is different and just because the previous ones didn't work out or just because your friend's relationships set an example to you, doesn't mean you can apply the exact same principles to every relationship. Being clingy and letting your boyfriend take the place of God in your life, just to ensure this relationship doesn't slip away, is the wrong way to go.
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    Know that men enjoy their space. Men enjoy, honour, and need space more often than women do. By letting your life revolve around him all the time, he may feel too suffocated. You need to let him have night outs with friends and let him spend individual time nurturing his personal and individual life for him to come back to you energized.
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    Be More assured of yourself. Men love confident women. Confidence in a woman attracts men and when a man can see that a woman is able to handle herself with grace, he sees her as a healthy woman and thus sees that he can have a healthy relationship with her.
    • Men love women who take care and look after themselves.
    • Remember, that you have to be CONFIDENT and not OVERCONFIDENT. Let there be times where you consult him on decisions you need to take and make it a point to share your feelings from time to time, to stay connected with the relationship.
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    Pamper Yourself. Every once a week (or however often you want) make sure that you pamper yourself. You could do this by going for a head massage, a manicure, pedicure, facial, a bubble bath. Or if you do not wish to spend, you can just light some candles and dip your legs in hot water in the comfort of your home.
    • Remember if you neglect yourself for your boyfriend, you may lose you appeal and charm, something that he fell for you for in the first place.
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    Take Some Me Time. Take time off and spend time with yourself. Use this time to reconnect with yourself. Take the phone off the hook, switch off your mobile phone and just do whatever you like, but do it alone. Solitude once in a while, helps one reconnect with oneself and feel happy about oneself. You could do this by pampering yourself, listening to your favorite music, watching TV, catching up on a movie, reading a book, a walk to the park or an evening watching the sunset. It makes you realize that you need to love yourself for others to love you.
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    Find a hobby. Everybody is gifted with a talent, but one needs to nurture it to get better. Find a hobby and work at it to get better. This not only takes your mind off your relationship for a while, but it also builds up your esteem, confidence and keeps you healthy and happy. Take up anything like painting, playing a musical instrument, pottery, sewing, reading, fishing, drawing, etc.
    • If you have difficulty finding a hobby, you can keep trying different things till you find something you like the most.
    • Join a dance/book/singing club to make new friends while you are at your hobby. It will make the process more interesting.
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    Do Not Forget About the People Who Were In your Life Before your Boyfriend Came Along. You obviously have had friends, relatives and your family, who were the people in your life before you entered into a relationship. Don't throw away or ditch any of these just because you have a boyfriend. Not only will you need them someday, but having these people and spending time with them, will help you stay connected to yourself.
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    Meet New People and Make New Friends. Don't devote all your time and affection to your boyfriend, Keep meeting new people, take up new projects and be friendly, Build acquaintances and make friends.
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    Schedule your time. Plan your dates and time with your boyfriend well in advance so that you know when you have time available to reconnect with yourself.
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    Remember all the people you are. You may be a girlfriend/partner/wife now, but you also are daughter/sister/mother/cousin/friend/aunt and most importantly you are yourself. Strike a balance between all these relationships and yourself.
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    Strike A Balance Between Being A Girlfriend and Being Yourself. Do not devote all your time to yourself, this will not help. You are in a relationship and you need to reserve your time, love and affection for your partner too. Strike a balance between him and yourself and spend time accordingly. Do not phase him out.
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    Check for Self Esteem Issues. Most of the time, the reason for being clingy and devoting everything to your boyfriend may be a result of low self esteem and confidence in your self. Check for such an issue, identify the problem and come up with resolutions to build your esteem. It is important to have faith in oneself.


  • Keep a journal to record your feelings; this will help so that you can make changes wherever necessary and will help you recognise all that is unhealthy in a relationship.


  • In the process of stopping your life from revolving around your boyfriend, don't go to an extreme that it suddenly becomes all about You and your boyfriend is phased out from the picture.

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Categories: Relationship Issues