How to Not Marry a Jerk

Are you concerned that you might be at risk of marrying a jerk? Your fear of this possibility can only be alleviated by being honest in your assessment of the person that you wish to marry, and having confidence in yourself; for an inability to see jerk-like behavior in other people is a reflection of your own weaknesses and insecurity.


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    Look at your intended's behavior. Is there anything about the behavior that concerns you? Some things to be concerned about include:
    • Drunken behavior on a regular basis
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    • Putting late night work commitments before meeting up with you
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    • Aggressive behavior
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    • Foul-mouth language as a general habit
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    • Treating you poorly in any way, e.g., putting you down in front of others, shouting at you, blaming you for things, etc.
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    Consider how you feel with this person. Is there any discomfort, fear, or panic when you are with this person? Do you feel oppressed, put down, or used in any way? If any of these tell-tale signs are experienced by you, then this is not the right person for you and the behaviors will only multiply as the relationship develops.
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    Ask trusted people what they think and feel. Are your parents expressing any reasonable and sensible concerns? Are your friends telling you hard truths that you need to face? Listen to other people so that you can make a fair assessment of the relationship.
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    Look inside yourself. Finally, are you a whole, happy, and purpose-certain person? If you don't what you want from life and for yourself, you are at risk of falling prey to a jerk who recognizes your vulnerabilities and uses them to their advantage, to advance their own wants and needs. If you are certain of yourself, of your path in life, and of the things you want from a relationship, then you will already know if the person is right for you. If you're uncertain to a great extent, it may be that the uncertainty lies in you about who you want to be; meaning that a little more time working on you is vital before entering a lifelong relationship.

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Categories: Commitment Issues