How to Overcome Being Cheated On

Maybe you walked in on your lover cheating on you. Maybe you read a salacious text or email. No matter how you found out, you're probably bowled over with grief. There's nothing more devastating and shocking then discovering you have been cheated on by your loved one, but you will get through this. Seeking support from friends, boosting your self esteem, and deciding whether you want to continue the relationship are key to the process of overcoming being cheated on.


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    You must do a combination of things to overcome the initial devastation to your confidence and self esteem ASAP. This is regardless of whether you plan on working things out in the relationship, or moving on....
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    Consider seeing a counselor. If you are really hurt, realize that seeing a therapist could help you deal with the cheater.
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    Seek support from friends or family. They can share experiences and help you move on.
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    Discuss with the cheater why they cheated on you. Explain your feelings to them. Try to be understanding and do not start a fight.
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    Decide whether or not you want this relationship. Are you ready to trust the person? Remember that a healthy relationship is built on trust. (Take a few days on this step to decide.)
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    If you decide to break things off, do so in a kind manner and do not yell. It will make things worse for both of you.
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    If you decide to stay with him or her, be sure they won't cheat on you again. Let them know that they can't cheat anymore.
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    Realize that there is no excuse for cheating, it is not your fault, and it is a selfish act by the cheater.


  • Learn to have self worth and self respect for yourself. Perhaps you are dealing with codependency and have a fear of being alone. Do something good for yourself, start working out, start a new hobby, free your mind of all the pressures that previously held you down. When it's all over you will be renewed, have awesome self esteem and be able to move on with no problem.
  • Keep calm. If you start to lose your cool, back away for a second. Listen to some music, meditate, read, watch TV, or do other things to distract you. (Do not do things you did with the cheater, like listen to a certain band; it can only bring you down.)
  • Don't contact the "mistress" or the person with whom your partner had an affair. It will make the cheater angry and can irreversibly ruin a relationship.
  • If this is the second, third, or fourth time that this person has had an affair, break it off. Some people do not respect boundaries and will continue to cheat. Some people have a sex-addiction, which is a serious as a heroin addiction or alcoholism. Suggest sex addiction rehab to your partner. It might help them.


  • If the cheating makes you feel so bad you hurt yourself, want to harm yourself, or seriously consider dying, go to a hospital. Feeling that bad does not make you weak, manipulative, or insane. A hospital can make you feel better and get you back on your feet. Remember that it is not your fault, and that you are a beautiful person no matter what.

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Categories: Cheating in Relationships