How to Rule the School

A simplified guide on how to own your school, unknown to Principals and other staff members. This works best in a Secondary School (Britain or Ireland) or High School (America), usually between the ages of 13 and 18.


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    Build rapport with teachers and staff. It is relatively simple, all you have to do is, complete homework on time and be charming. If you already have a bad reputation, do not worry. You will probably be forgiven if you follow most of the steps below.
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    Get familiar with the school ground, especially in larger schools. You have to know every nook and cranny. Later in your time in school you may get access to keys. Use this opportunity to check which doors they open, and if necessary, make a map. This would be very useful if you attend a huge school.
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    Get your hands on a copy of the 'teacher timetable.' This tells you where each teacher is all day, every day. This is useful because when teachers have free classes/periods they have a habit of wandering around the school, putting a dent in you trying to do your own thing.
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    Watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986). Though some believe this is a skit of blagging, in real life almost everything he does in that film is possible.
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    Get involved in two or more extra curricular activities. If you're not into sports, volunteer to help in the school-library, computer lab or help with the newsletter. These are relatively simple jobs and can gain you access to much needed materials for Ruling The School.
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    You could volunteer to reorganize and restock the library of your school, and you may be trusted with a key for the library, and a number of other rewards.
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    Go somewhere you won't be noticed when you are out of class. You could hang out in the library all day, every day just chatting and playing games on the net. If there is no such place in your school don't be tempted to mitch/skive/ditch school (explained later), as this is really pointless unless you have something to do.
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    Befriend the librarians. When you are skipping class, walk into the library without a pass and just smile at them. They'll trust you enough.
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    Try to get a job in school that gives you power over younger students. Whilst supervising in the library and computer-lab you may have the power to dish out detentions and kick people out. 'With great power comes great responsibility,' and all that, but swiftly use your power to reprimand students that are being cheeky to you, not necessarily ones that are breaking the rules. This will earn you a sort of respect and the younger students will eventually do your bidding.


  • Another important thing to get involved in, during school, is the Student Council. Every school has one, and though many people think they have no real power, once you are on it, you can change that. It will also increase your popularity with both teachers, if you do a good job, and students, if you listen to their needs.
  • Waiting around for these things to happen is not an option, you have to be pro-active. Being a dosser in school without getting in trouble takes significant effort
  • If there is a fin school it is unlikely that you will be able to 'rule it' because of your age. But sometimes your first year in school is where you build the foundations of your abilities.
  • Make sure you get your friends in on the act too, as dossing off class on your own can be quite boring at times.
  • When you have an extra curricular activity, use it to get out of class. At the beginning of class go to your teacher and say that you are required in the library/lab/communications room to work on this activity. Ensure that you use this on a teacher which likes you, otherwise it could be detrimental to your good report.
  • The three most important people in the school are, your Principal, your Vice-Principal, and soon, you. In all schools the Principal and Vice-Principal play the good-cop, bad-cop routine. However when you get involved in all the extra curricular activities, the bad cop side slowly fades away, as long as you don't get caught abusing your power. If you do get caught you're better off getting caught by whichever plays the 'bad-cop' role. He/she will be less disappointed, and will give a less severe punishment. However if you have really got that good rapport with the staff you'll easily get out of trouble with 'The Man.'


  • Don't tell anyone about your plan for they will spread the word and it will fail; only trust really close friends...
  • Don't pick on younger kids to make your way to the top, it never works...

Things You'll Need

  • An ability to communicate
  • One major talent to use as an extra curricular activity (art, music, debating etc...)

Article Info

Categories: Surviving School