How to Spot Verbal Abuse by Adults and Kids

You are talking with someone and all of a sudden it feels like someone hit you in the stomach, but they never touched you. It was their words that cut deep. Suddenly you feel ill, angry, and maybe even aggressive and you don't have a clue why. Next time really listen to what is being said to you, and how it is said. Do not be mistaken, ill treatment is abuse. It is called verbal abuse when done with words using our mouths. All humans have the right to be treated with respect. Here are ways to spot verbal abuse.

Steps

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    Look for words that insult, criticize, condemn or complain. Abuse is to offend another either by words or actions, it could be the tone of their voice, it could be a lack of patience or even the refusal to listen to your side of the problem.
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    Examine the facts. If someone is withholding, this can be the most painful abuse of all. Withholding of response, withholding of reaction, or just a general don’t care attitude cuts deep. Ann Landers was once asked “What is the most painful insult”? Her answer was to totally ignore a person.
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    Ask yourself this question. Am I being treated correctly?
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    Figure out if you are being lied to. Dishonesty is not respectful nor is a lack of privacy.
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    Spot demeaning remarks. Is the person trying to cause you to do something by using threats or by degrading you? Do they tell you that all you do is inferior or find fault with it or you.
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    Ask yourself if you are being violated with words. Abuse is to treat with irreverence or to infringe on your rights. This includes disrespect with words, being cursed at or addressing with rude language.
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    Understand Sarcasm. Is someone talking to you with sarcasm or using a mocking bitter laugh. Are they speaking bitterly or using a cutting expression. Some say sarcasm is a step away from violence.
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    Don't believe it. Do I hear a person using harsh insults? For example, you are fat, stupid, weird, useless, or a loser.
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    Learn the meaning of scurrilous. It means to be given to the use of vulgar, coarse, or abusive language; being foul-mouthed. For example, are they calling you names like idiot, buffoon, clown, or moron? Avoid someone who makes you feel low or stupid.
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    Educate yourself about opprobrium, contemptuous reproaches. Do not allow yourself to be treated with contempt or disrespect. Do not accept that you are too sensitive or allow yourself to be shamed by others.
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    Open your mind to learning about verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is emotional injury caused by another person’s tongue.
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    Stop manipulation. If someone is trying to make you feel guilty, you are being manipulated. You should refuse to accept the guilt. If after this your eyes are open to someone abusing you, or if you are abusing someone, you may need to SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP. Sometimes confronting a verbal abuser can make the verbal turn to physical abuse. We can change our self and can learn to not react or to not practice verbal abuse ourselves.

Article Info

Categories: Dealing with Bullying | Abuse