wikiHow to Stop Jealousy in a Relationship

Two Parts:Overcoming Your Own JealousyCreating an Open Discussion about Boundaries

Many people start a relationship on the positive side, without questioning or suspecting the other person. However, overtime we may develop feelings of jealousy in a relationship that can be either healthy or deadly to our current relationship. Here are some tips on understanding the tipping point of when jealousy becomes unbearable and additionally advice on how to overcome your own or your partners relationship.


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    Think about why jealousy is an issue. A healthy relationship is when both parties are genuinely happy and elevated from the support they give to one another. Obviously, there are times when a person needs to feel their own identity through socialising with others, committing to hobbies or keeping personal information to themselves. Most importantly, it is important at these points, to respect the other party's boundaries.
    • It is important to understand that jealousy is merely a feeling in your mind that may or may not signify other problems not necessarily within a relationship. For example, if you don't have enough confidence in yourself or experiences in a past relationship. All of these can distort your ability to commit to a healthy relationship.
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    Be prepared to address jealousy as a habit, along with related behaviors. Jealousy can also be, not always, a habit stemmed from either negative thinking or bad gossiping. Wherever it comes from, stopping these other habits may help you to overcome your sense of jealousy.
    • Even if this article does open with the importance of building a healthy relationship, we need to work backwards in order to remove the first layer of jealousy and then create an open relationship that uses active management skills as opposed to aggressive and passive.

Part 1
Overcoming Your Own Jealousy

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    Place yourself in the other persons position. A childish tactic that is often forgotten. Remember to honestly build a picture. This method really helps you understand what jealousy is doing to you in the face of your partner.
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    Understand where you come from. If you have confidence issues, there are many articles on wikiHow that can definitely help you. But, in summary, firstly changing your mindset from 'I am hopeless' to something as simple as 'I can be creative, honest and motivating' can be the game changer to improving your overall character. (Tip: Never place another person into the picture, like 'I am better than this person' or 'At least I am not as spoilt as this person'. This won't help you remove the cycle of jealousy nor make you any more mature, as you cannot know every single detail of another persons life.)
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    Remove situations that you have created due to your feelings of jealousy. In particular, secretly checking their phones, following them through GPS tracking or feeling mad whenever they are tagged in a group photo with others. You should feel happy for your partner to have friends. Again, place yourself in the other persons shoes.
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    Realize that overcoming feelings of jealousy takes time. When you feel yourself reaching a dangerous point of jealousy. Take a moment to re-evaluate the problem and ask yourself whether it is really worth getting upset over.
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    Assess whether or not you have improved in responding to these situations. Improvements may become a great confidence booster. If not, take note of this situation for future reference.

Part 2
Creating an Open Discussion about Boundaries

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    Wait for the right moment. Find time when both of you are free. Find a private space that is secure and comfortable for a face to face discussion. If you both are too busy or can't find such a place, talking over the phone or web chat is another option.
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    Point out what has currently been bothering you. This could be your own jealous feelings to a situation that falls outside the situation such as secretly checking your partners phone to find it locked. Explain to your partner how these situations are affecting you. However, realise that certain actions such as frequently making secret calls that seem suspicious should be brought up at a later date.
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    Set up boundaries with your partner on what you consider cheating. Tell them what would bother you and tell them to put yourself in your shoes if the situation is reversed would you also be uncomfortable?
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    Adopt an open minded and calm persona. Never blame or speak in a destructive manner such as 'YOU ARE ALWAYS DOING THIS'.


  • Take your time. Habits last but motivation and hardwork can break it down.
  • If your partner is the one who is jealous, bring up the steps in creating an open discussion. Similarly, do not accuse the other of cornering you, simply point out the actions that prevent your relationship from being healthier. Be supportive and do not directly say that it is abnormal to feel jealous over a particular situation. Trust is build over time.
  • Never create a false dichotomy like situation. As in, never present the other, a choice between you and another person or thing. This is acting on your jealousy, not overcoming it.

Article Info

Categories: Commitment Issues