How to Stop Obsessing over a Player

Casanova got you blind-sighted? Did you get involved with a player, thinking that you can handle casual sex without emotional attachment and now you feel used? You're not alone! Most women get involved in toxic relationships knowingly thinking that they won't get attached. This is hard especially when sex is involved.


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    Really think over your situation with this person. If it was destructive from the beginning it's better that it's over. If you are still involved with this person, break it off! The longer you are involved the harder this will be to heal.
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    Having low self-esteem can make a player seem like the dream guy. Men can sense a women who doesn't respect herself (i.e. he knows that he is a loser so if you are with him, what do you think he thinks about you?).
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    Learn to love yourself and divert all this attention from him to yourself. Take up a hobby. Exercise. Do what's best for you. Seek friends/family! Life is short!
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    If need be seek therapy. Co-dependence is not fun, whether it's a good guy or a player.
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    Ask yourself why you would even want to get involved with a selfish player, who sleeps around and is just going to use you as a vessel for his sexual needs. HIV and AIDS don't discriminate and being with someone like this just increases risk! Nobody is worth all that!
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    Don't take his actions personally! He is a jerk. You are not the only one he sleeps with and doesn't call the next day. Most players have women throwing themselves at them, regardless of the situation. Players numb the feeling of caring about anyone.
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    Don't call him - ever. Don't whine, cry etc. He isn't worth it. Remember any attention, negative or not is still attention which feeds his ego. End it quickly, with no messy interactions.
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    Learn to love yourself a little more each and every day.


  • Listen to your instincts. Stop looking the other way and pretending you don't see red flags.
  • Ending a relationship (serious, casual sex) still takes healing. People always think that once a person leaves a bad situation they are jumping for joy. That's not always the case. It's still a loss. Things are different now, phone calls stop coming in. Invitations from him stop. You start to wonder if it was the best decision to leave. It is.
  • Next time think before giving your precious body to anyone. Sex is a beautiful thing and if you want to be cared about or cuddled afterward, a player will not give you that. If they do it's only to keep you at bay.
  • Don't sleep with neighbor/players. The worst, because when you do break up and you hear them with other can hurt. But better her then you right? Right.
  • Talk, talk, talk this out with friends and family.


  • You can be lonely at times without a male companion. But it's better to do soul-searching during those times.

Article Info

Categories: Relationship Issues