How to Tell if Your Best Friend Loves You

There may come a day when you notice that your best friend can't look you in the eye. If so, the problem might be that friendship has blossomed into a little crush. There are a lot of difficulties with having a relationship with your best friend, but if the relationship works out, then it's usually worth it. Who else but your best friend would you want to give your love to?


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    Look for the signs that your friend is crushing on you. Your best friend has gotten to know you, obviously, and your friendship has perhaps turned into a romantic hankering on their part. Here are some signs to be on the lookout for in the beginning:
    • Your friend always being really quiet around you. It's a sign that they don't want to say something "stupid" that will make you change your mind about them.
    • Your friend never being able to look you in the eye for more than a few seconds. It's a sign they don't want to telegraph their love just quite yet.
    • Your friend looking at you all the time. A sign they can't help but telegraph their love. Who said finding out if your best friend loved you was easy?!
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    Spend time with him or her. If you feel the same way, try to hang out together more often, so that you communicate your wish to be in his or her company as much as they wish to be in yours. Funny things happen when people who like each other hang out. Who knows? Your friend might even flat out confess they like you if they're confident you like them back.
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    Look for signs of flirting. The ancient art of flirting doesn't lie, at least to those who know how to read the signs. If you don't know how to read the signs, don't worry! Here's a little crash-course on the things you should look out for:
    • He or she finds excuses to touch you. On your shoulder, on your arm, your hand; putting their arm around you, comparing hands, and holding hands. Obviously, hugging and kiss also fall into this category.
    • He or she asks you to do favors. Hold their backpack, do errands for them, help them out with homework. Some of these can be perfectly innocent, but if you notice other signs of flirting along with these, they're a no-doubter.
    • He or she compliments you in a more-than-a-friend way. Again, these are tough to tell, but they can be something like:
      • "Wow, you're really good with an axe. I never knew someone could be so...manly!"
      • "You're always the best dressed among your friends. Even when you're wearing Uggs and a sweatshirt, you look better than friends in heels and makeup."
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    Ask leading questions. Take your friend to a place where you have some privacy, and ask a harmless question such as "If you went to a dance, who would you ask to come with you?" or "Who do you think is your best friend?" If you're lucky, the response will be, you. At that point, you can say something like, "Aww, I feel the same way about you," and offer a hug. Here are some other questions to ask. Ask these sparingly:
    • "Who is the person you trust the most? Like if the world were ending and you had to nominate one person to save it, who would it be?"
    • "Hey, I'm just wondering, this has never happened to me; but if one of my dates ditched before a dance, would you take their place? Just making my backup plans in advance ha-ha."
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    Look for the signs your friend would show to girls/guys they liked in the past. If you were around to observe how your best friend, you maybe have a good idea about how they act when they're around someone they like.
    • For example, if they blushed a lot around a girl they liked, and suddenly they are blushing around you, that's a big hint. It's almost like saying, "I like you," with a giant flashing sign.
    • Or maybe your best friend always passed his ex-girlfriend notes, and he's suddenly passing you notes. It could be a coincidence, but it's likely not. Add up the clues, Sherlock!
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    Observe their behavior in a group of friends. When you're with a group of friends, look to see if s/he's only paying attention to you. This is a good indicator that your best friend likes you. But watch out! Some friends will ignore you because they are shy or nervous. This causes them to try to stay away from you to not embarrass themselves, or to avoid feeling awkward, so take this with a grain of salt.
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    Just ask (optional). If you're still not sure, just ask. This is the only reliable way to figure out if they like, but it comes with risks! For one, the person might not want to jeopardize the friendship, and so will feel uncomfortable telling you. Another issue is that they might actually think that you like them, and that it's just a way to get them to ask you out.
    • Be sure you want the relationship to move onto a romance before asking. If you don't, it's better to just avoid the question and let the feelings slowly pass. If the best friend suddenly makes a move or comes out and tells you, then you can talk about it.
    • If you want to ask, say something like, "I don't want to weird you out, but I've noticed things changing a little between us lately, and wondered if it's because our relationship has shifted a little bit." This will give him/her the perfect opportunity to tell you they like you.
    • If your friend doesn't open up, or says, "No way, what, are you crazy? We're friends, that's all!" then let it go, saying, "Hey, no problem, I was just curious. It's cool, either way." If your friend is scared to tell you, or is wrestling with his or her feelings, it may take some time for him or her to come clean about it to you. Be patient and compassionate, and don't pressure your friend.
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    Suggest that s/he think about you that way. If you have feelings outside of friendship, maybe you're going to have to make the first move. It'll be tough, but it's worth it if you know what you want.
    • Don't make a big deal of it, but just suggest that your friend think about you in a more romantic way. Try something like, "Have you ever thought about going out with... oh, I don't know... me?" Then smile and keep it light.
    • Don't act desperate, that could tell your friend you only like him/her because you want a girl/boyfriend and think they would be easy to date. Your friend might blow you off today, but take you up on it tomorrow.


  • Be yourself. Don't act differently around them if you like them. If they like you, they like you for who you are and you don't need to change for them.
  • When talking to them, pay attention to how much they laugh at your jokes or things that you do. If they laugh more frequently than usual, it might be because they like you.
  • Be cool and relaxed, no matter what. Whether you have romantic feelings for your friend or not, it will be important to find out if your friend has romantic feelings for you, should you have noticed him or her acting different toward you. Letting your friend know she/he is safe in expressing those feelings to you will help, and then you'll be able to deal with it and keep your friendship intact.
  • Try to communicate with your friend more than only talking on Facebook or texting each other.
  • Don't just come up to your friend and say, Hey, do you love me? It is not cool and it will be embarrassing (for you and the friend). That can be a big bomb to drop on someone.
  • Stay cool, no matter what happens just keep a good friendship over a romantic gesture to him/her because no matter what you will always be friends.
  • It would be better face to face because the answer will come faster and will be more real and genuine.
  • Think about it first because it can seriously change your relationship if you break up.
  • Don't make a move on your friend when s/he is around her/his friends... Its embarrassing for both of you.
  • Don't be shy if you have feelings for your best friend.
  • Don't tell him/her that you don't like them straight away, that will just break their heart. Even worse no friendship.
  • Be sure you have adequate privacy. Sitting somewhere far away from other people is suggested.
  • Most of these signs are really easy to spot. If they do like you and they're good at hiding it, then it's not so simple.
  • If your best friend (or if you have multiple, one of them) tells you they like you and you like them back, but you're afraid of a breakup ruining your friendship, just simply tell them, "I wouldn't want to hurt you or myself if we were to breakup. I love you too much as my friend to do that to you." Give them time to accept your answer and once they are over being rejected, they will realize you only want the best for them and you both can continue your friendship. Better to be friends for the rest of your lives rather than risk a relationship that you're not sure will workout that could ruin your friendship.
  • If you like him/her, don't go straight out and tell them.
  • Don't ask them if they love you over Facebook.
  • Tell a trusted friend what you think, they could help figure out what's going on.
  • If you have feelings for your friend, remember to take it slow. The worst thing you can do is just up and tell them. Most times that does more harm than good. but you can start making some soft questions to him/her and letting the things happens, but remember: slowly! because if you do it quickly you can have a negative answer or she/he can feel uncomfortable.
  • Be yourself and enjoy their company.


  • Don't discuss this where others can hear you. Your feelings and the things you say to each other are private and should be held in confidence, no matter what they are. Whether you decide to remain just friends or explore a deeper relationship, it's nobody's business but the two of you.
  • If you have feelings for your friend, but they are not returned, you may need to take a break so that you can separate your wistful affection and hopes for more than friendship from the reality that your friend will just remain your friend. Likewise, if your friend has feelings that you do not share, s/he may need some time to draw the line, as well. Don't let that be goodbye, just let it be a temporary farewell. Tell your friend to give you a little time to adjust, and that when you feel you are comfortable with being "just friends," you hope your friendship can resume. If your friend is a true friend, she/he will understand and allow you the time and space you need to adjust and return to your friendship.
  • Being direct is not suitable in all situations. Sometimes it can dampen cordial relations.

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Categories: Best Friends