How to Tell if Your Wife Is Cheating

Four Parts:Changes in Her Social PatternsChanges in Her Behavior at HomeChanges in Her Grooming HabitsSecretive Communication

If something about your wife's recent behavior seems “off” and your instincts are telling you that there might be another guy in her life, you should do a little investigating first to verify that your suspicions are correct before confronting her about it. Here are a few of the most common red flags that could be indicative of a cheating wife.

Part 1
Changes in Her Social Patterns

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    Watch for a change in the way she treats people who care about you. If your wife begins to distance herself from your side of the family or from friends of yours whom she once got along with, it could be a sign of guilt.[1]
    • If your wife gets along with your family and friends, she will understand that more people will be hurt by the affair than just you. This will make her feel guiltier, so she might avoid the situation as often as possible.
    • Cheating wives can also worry that your friends and family will be able to tell that something is happening even if you do not pick up on the clues.
    • In some instances, your family could even be part of the problem. If your wife does not get along with your family and you often take their side over hers, she might feel as though she has no allies amongst those who care about you.
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    Note how often she goes out with "the girls." If she suddenly starts spending considerably more time running with social circles that don't include you, this could be another bad sign. Even if she claims to be hanging out with her female friends, this might not actually be the case.
    • Understand that an occasional girls-night-out can be both normal and healthy, so you do not need to worry if these nights are fairly infrequent.
    • These can be a bigger problem if your wife puts these nights above her relationship with you, if her story changes about who she goes with and where she goes, or if you are unable to get in touch with your wife while she's out.
    • Even if your wife is genuinely meeting with other female friends, there is some chance that she is using them as emotional support and confiding to them about personal issues she may not talk to you about. This might not be a sign that she's cheating, but it is a sign that there are problems in your marriage.
    • If she tells you she is going somewhere and you suspect she is heading out to meet another man, offer to go with her. If she "changes her mind" and decides not to go, it could be a sign that she was indeed trying to get out alone to go spend time with someone else.
    • If your wife disappears for hours at a time and simply claims to have been shopping, show an interest in what stores she visited, or what things she looked at, especially if she returns home empty handed. Many women love to discuss shopping trips, so if you get an elusive response, it may be an indicator that she was spending time elsewhere.
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    Listen carefully if she starts talking about a new friend. Women generally feel a stronger need to talk about new and exciting things happening in their lives, even if they need to keep the news a secret. If she starts talking about a new friend, that new friend might be more to her than she intends to let on.
    • Keep in mind that your wife might give you a fake name to throw you off. If she talks a lot about her new friend "Samantha," she might actually be describing her new friend "Samuel," and providing you with a woman's name just to avoid raising your suspicions.
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    Determine if there are any changes in her drinking or smoking habits. If your wife frequently drank or smoke, then you might not notice much of any change. If she never had any interest in alcohol and cigarettes before, however, and suddenly begins smelling of either one, she might have a partner in crime who taught her those new habits.
    • Even if your wife does indulge in the occasional drink, pay attention to when you smell alcohol on her. If you smell it after she came back from what should have been a late night at the office, or smell it on her at odd times like the middle of the afternoon, there could be a problem.
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    Pay attention to how often she works or goes on business trips. Your wife might claim to be spending more time at work, but if she was never much of a workaholic before, this change could indicate that she's spending those extra hours outside of the office after all.
    • Any excessive amount of time she spends away could be bad news. For example, if a trip to the bank, grocery store, or hair salon takes twice as long as it used to, she might be doing something other than what she claims to be doing.
    • Consider trips she makes out of town without you that are not business-related. If she frequently goes to visit relatives alone, she may be visiting more than just relatives especially if she stays in a hotel at night rather than at the relatives home. If she tells you she stayed in a hotel, casually ask her which one, and then watch for the charges to appear on your credit card statement; if there are no charges, another man may be providing a place for her to sleep at night.
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    Look at how much money she spends when she is out.[2] Affairs cost money. Take a discreet peek at your wife's receipts and credit card statements. A dramatic increase in the amount of money she spends could suggest that she's been spending her money on someone new.
    • To the same end, consider checking her car mileage. If you notice that she is driving more miles than she should if she were going to the places she claims to be going to, then she might be driving out to see someone she should not be seeing.

Part 2
Changes in Her Behavior at Home

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    Watch for a change in her affections toward you. You might get suspicious if your wife suddenly distances herself from you, but if she suddenly becomes inexplicably more affectionate toward you, that could be just as bad a sign.
    • A cheating wife can pay more attention to you as a way to ease her guilty conscience. If she devotes more attention to you when the two of you are together, she can momentarily make herself feel better about what she does when you aren't around.
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    Pay attention to her phone habits. This can be a bit tricky, since many women naturally spend a lot of time on the phone. If your wife suddenly spends more time talking or texting, though, or if she hangs up as soon as you enter the room, these habits could suggest that she's talking to someone new in her life whom she does not want you to know about.
    • Try asking your wife about the phone calls she receives, especially if she leaves the room to take them or quickly hangs up when you walk in. Gauge whether or not her response seems truthful or if she is trying to make an excuse for who was on the other end of the line.
    • You should also pay attention to other changes in her calling habits, including the frequency of calls, time of day, and tone of voice she uses.[3]
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    Determine if your wife is nit-picking. Many husbands may already think that their wives nag them, but if your wife has becoming even more critical of your behavior than usual, she might be looking for ways to justify the affair to herself.
    • If your wife suddenly acts as though nothing you do is right in her eyes, there are considerable problems in your relationship, even if your wife is not cheating on you.
    • On the other hand, it could also be a bad sign if your wife "nags" at you less. If you have given your wife good reason to stop nagging by improving the traits she often criticized you for or by being more attentive, less nagging can be great. If you have not changed your behavior, though, and she becomes less critical of you, it could be a sign that she has become indifferent toward you, which could mean that she's getting emotional fulfillment from another source.
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    Take note of any changes in sexual behavior. You might expect your wife to show less interest in you sexually if she starts cheating on you. While this can be the case in some instances, just as often, wives will seem more interested in sex than before.
    • Wanting more sex can be your wife's way of alleviating the guilt she has for cheating on you.
    • If your wife wants more sex, it could also be a sign that she is having an emotional affair and using you to satisfy her sexual desire for a man she cannot have in bed.
    • On the other hand, if you had a healthy enough sex life before and the flames suddenly die out between you, it could indicate that she is fulfilling her sexual desires with someone else.
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    Make eye contact. On instinct, humans avoid eye contact with others when they feel guilty or when they have a secret to hide. Try to make eye contact with your wife throughout the day. If she is cheating, there is a good chance that she will turn away more often than not.
    • This is especially important when you ask her about where she has been, who she's been with, and what she has been doing. Since she will need to come right out and lie to you if she does not want to admit to cheating, she will find it much harder to look you in the eye than she normally would.
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    Note how much time she spends on the computer. Nowadays, the computer is used as a means of communication just as often as the phone is. If your wife spends more of her evenings on the computer and becomes defensive when you ask about it, she might be sending emails or communicating via social media with someone she hopes you won't find out about.
    • Take a glance at your wife's Internet history when she is not around to see. If her history has been erased, consider that to be red flag and a sign that there was something there she did not want you to see.
    • Remember that cell phones are the most commonly-used computer. Ask to see her phone. If she is defensive, it could be a sign that she is hiding something there. If you do have access to the phone, consider applications that might indicate cheating, such as Ashley Madison, Tinder or other dating apps. Social apps like Skype, Snapchat, Kik or WhatsApp may be ways that she is hiding her communication with another man, especially if the history in these apps is always deleted.
    • Review the cell phone bill. Most carriers provide detailed calling records. Look for unfamiliar numbers that are dialed or used for texting frequently. Consider using reverse phone lookup services such as to get a name and location for the phone number.
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    Consider evasive behavior as a bad sign.[4] As a general rule, if your wife suddenly begins sharing fewer details about her day and her thoughts, she might be hiding something or getting the emotional support she needs from another source.
    • Women are rarely secretive unless they have a good reason to be. They are generally more inclined to open up about their thoughts and feelings than men are, and while husbands may hold back in an effort to avoid what they perceive as "nagging," wives rarely demonstrate the same behavior.

Part 3
Changes in Her Grooming Habits

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    Note a change in her appearance. The longer a couple stays married, the more both spouses tend to let themselves go. If your wife suddenly dyes her hair and spruces herself up, she might be trying to make herself look good for someone new.
    • Women usually try to look their absolute bests at the start of a new relationship, so if your wife is suddenly making considerably more effort in terms of her appearance, it stands to reason that there might be a new relationship in her life.
    • Note, however, that there is some chance that your wife could be doing this for your benefit. If she senses a lack of heat or chemistry between the two of you and wants to remedy the problem, she might try to make herself seem more appealing to you.
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    Watch out for shopping sprees. Take a good look at what she brings home in her shopping bags. If she buys new clothes in excess, she might be trying to show them off to someone—especially if those clothes are revealing or if she buys more lingerie.
    • A big sign can be if your wife is buying sexy lingerie but not wearing them in your bedroom, or if she is buying attractive clothes but never wearing them in front of you.
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    Pay attention if she starts working out at the gym. If your wife takes a sudden interest in shaping up even though she never showed much desire to do so before, she might be trying to make her body look more appealing to a new guy in her life.
    • Understand, of course, that this is not necessarily a dead giveaway. She might genuinely be trying to get herself in shape for valid reasons, especially if her doctor has recently informed her about possible health risks, if a favorite dress no longer fits, or if the new year just started and working out is on her list of resolutions.
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    Take note of how often she showers "at the gym." If you rarely see her shower at home anymore and she frequently claims to have showered at the gym, there is some chance that she might be showering at another guy's place and using the gym shower as a cover.
    • A cheating wife will often shower before she greets you at home to cover the scent of the other man.
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    Inhale her scent. Most spouses get accustomed to the way their counterparts smell. If your wife smells “off” or like a brand of men's cologne you do not use, she might be in close contact with another man.

Part 4
Secretive Communication

  1. 1
    Use the HoneyHunter Surveillance App
    • This is an android app which is incredibly stealth.
    • Unlike many others the download is free; One only pays for the service which is about 30 USD per month (smaller packages available - 1.5 USD per day, ETC) - which is within the budget of pretty everybody.
    • You only need about up to a minute with your partners phone (it's small so the downloading takes less than 5 seconds; and all you need to enter after installation is your email address).
    • What do you get? Real time updates on texts, calls, locations, ETC.
    • Has a pretty good following and reviews.


  • Do not accuse your wife of having an affair without confirming your suspicions first. If your wife is not cheating on you and you accuse her of doing so, you might end up causing problems between the two of you that never existed before.

Article Info

Categories: Cheating Spouses